[PBJandPICKLES]

...been leaning on someone here for a while now. Feel guilty for it. It's too much for either of us. They want me to start posting again.

I'm crying all the time - just so sad. In my sleep weeping again. Wake up all the time. So tired and down. No light or joy in me and I'm angry and seem to hate even the ones I love. wtf there's no getting better is there. Each month this hole only gets deeper and darker; been over a year now feeling so down and recently exponentially worse daily. Very real, very bad thoughts.

Feels like ppl are criticizing me all the time, even when they're not saying any thing. Alone. worthless

[Ygrec23]

Hey, PBJ. You've come to the right place. There are so many people here who've been where you are now and who can help you out of where you are to a better place that feels much, much better. All you have to do is keep posting here. Posting in every relevant forum, like the depression forum, for instance. You do have to try and work to be heard and responded to. You have to post first. Nobody will know what to do unless you post first.

It sounds like you are in a terribly painful place right now. Many of us deal with that by (1) finding a T; (2) finding a pdoc to prescribe meds for us; and (3) searching for other, self-help methods from among the tens of thousands of people here who have problems similar to yours. You can do all of this. It's realistic. Huge numbers of people suffering from your problems have done this before.

You do need to keep reaching out, though, as you've done by posting here. Posting in all forums that could possibly be relevant. Ultimately, you'll find a whole bunch of people who appreciate who you are, what you're suffering from and what you can do. Just keep on posting! Take care.

i totally understand how you feel, **hugs** i hope things get a bit brighter soon!! i guess we all just have to take it one step at a time. keep posting on here there'll always be someone who'll give you advice that really will help. xx

[alwaysrejoice]

Today is the first day I didn't cry in months. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll make it through the night. Call someone, do something..... You can't fix it yourself it's just too much for anyone to fix all on their own. Hang in there.