why am I lonely?

I am 22. I am a positive person, with a very good self image of myself, I'm smart, good looking,hard working, I have a lot going for me, and a plain for the future. I am a respectful person and people respect me and I am a very nice guy but I'm not a push over. But, I am very lonely. I don't have much of a social life. I have some friends but none of them ever call me and when I call them the conversions never go anywhere. I have tried to make new friends on my own and haven't got anywhere. I just stay at home all day and night. I started going to the gym to stay in shape and get out of the house and make some friends but the friend part hasn't happened. I made friends at work but that's all they seem to be (friends at work) As far as relationships go, I broke up with my girlfriend 3 months ago and haven't gotten out enough to talk to any new girls and I have no one to go out with. My ex and I started talking out of luck. I guess you can say I'm somewhat shy. I feel very lonely, I'm starting to get depressed.

What about when you were younger? Did you have friends then?

Depression and loneliness feed on each other.

Having said that, I have kicked my depression but I am still a bit lonely. I have friends but I don't get to see them.

Hi that guy
Welcome to PC
I have the same problem. My anxiety keeps me from getting out and meeting people and it seems the only place to meet people is bars and I dont want what I would find in bars. Perhaps you could invite a coworker to dinner now and then to practice your social skills? Or as my coworkers and T suggested to me - online dating. that seems to be how many people are meeting these days.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi and good luck. Keep trying.

Thanks that's good advice...lol but idk about the online dating thing I think I'm too young for that becides, I'm more of an ol fashion kinda guy

"Somewhat shy" can be a real handicap in today's world where people are forever connecting socially--often through technology, but then sometimes with actual meetings. I'm shy, but I'm okay on PC. Drop me into the middle of a party, though, and watch Wallflower here start edging for the nearest exit.

I was a theatre major & learned how to play the part of a not-shy person which I can pull off now IRL. But what I learned is that there's a lot of serious reasons behind why a person is shy. I've since worked on a lot of them in therapy. I don't know whether this is something that would interest you or not. I'm not talking about years & years. It could be a shorter time.

Other than that, dating is the same old game it's always been. Find places to meet potential dates or find people who know people & will introduce you. But neither of those help much when you're shy.

Sorry, I know you were hoping for something faster & easier.

Yea I had friends in high school. I was acullay pretty popular. Just grew apart from everyone but my one good friend, he's away at cornell only see him when he's in town. That's really the only time I get out. There was a point where I weas very very depressed because of my lonelyness but I just stayed posative now I'm just really really lonely

No that fine, its great advice. I mean I'm not all that shy only sometimes I'm fine at parties and what not just don't like to be the center of attention