[Distressed2010]

My father passed away last month, a week before my birthday. He was 65, I'm 28. I don't know how to deal with this. I don't get along with my sisters, they were always mean to me. My mom stresses me out because she herself is constantly stressed (not due to my dad's death but always been that way) because everyone else around her stresses her out easily (my dad did, my sisters do, so does her brother) and this makes her pounce on me. I am probably the only one trying to be there for her, I can't say words but I try to spend time with her, most times crushing over my priorities. Shes leaving next week to go live with my sister for 6 months. I'm sort of worried about my mom because my sister is all about her new life and her second wedding she's having... not sure if she'll have the proper support system.

I myself have absolutely no support system. I don't know what to do? (please no advice to see a therapist0-i'm in another country and I've explored that option, its just not possible). Every day is a struggle. I don't know what to do, I have never lost someone so close before, infact i've never lost anyone at all. I'm not even financially settled. I have no family. My family doesn't get me, my mom also included. I can't keep going on like this, I don't feel like doing anything at all. I've tried leaning on a couple of friends/aquaintainces, but they aren't really there for me. What should I do?

Also a guy I was seeing for a very short period but very intense (a month) prior to my dad's death, randomly disappeared on me, then gave me mixed signals, all of this with my dad passing away. Its been too stressful for me. I finally told him I'm dealing with my dad I can't deal with both, either you tell me whether you want this or no. He told me he wanted it and would come see me the next day. Well, he stood me up. No call, no text, nothing. I texted him, no response. I'm SO hurt by that as well. Made me feel like I'm nothing at all. No one cares what I'm going through, especially since i had told him i lost my father.

PLEASE, someone help.

[CantExplain]

You say you have no support system and therapy is out of the question.
This forum can provide you with some support, but the support is much warmer on the psychotherapy forum!

Do you have any hobbies that you could do socially?

Why is therapy out of the question? I see from other posts that you have a dentist, so you must live in a reasonably civilised country!

I haven't found any references to you having a job or a church.

[TerryL]

[quote=Distressed2010;2152271]

I have never lost someone so close before, infact i've never lost anyone at all.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. It's so hard to love a loved one especially a parent. You think they will always be there and when they pass on it is a total shock to one's system. I'm also very sorry you don't have a support system. I understand where you are coming from. When I lost my mother, I felt the same way. I also was not that close to my siblings and I also felt that most people did not really care as much as I would have liked. (But I also did some looking inward and I understood why) still, it is a double whammy to discover that when you are grieving.

Well, he stood me up. No call, no text, nothing. I texted him, no response. I'm SO hurt by that as well. Made me feel like I'm nothing at all. No one cares what I'm going through, especially since i had told him i lost my father.

Oh yes, that is so very hurtful. I don't know why people do that to each other. I have found more and more that some people don't think twice about letting others down or not following through on their word. In fact it seems to be the norm nowadays, sad to say. I'm sorry that guy did that to you. But please don't take that as being a reflection of your self-worth.

I wish I had more helpful things to say. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone and that I understand.

[TerryL]

Hi Distressed--here is a link to a grief forum in case that might help--

http://forums.grieving.com/

[shezbut]

(((Distressed2010)))

I am sorry that you're going through such a rough time, and feeling alone. Losing a person we loved (dysfunctional or not) isn't ever easy. The few that passed away and weren't dysfunctional in my family were actually easier for me to handle. It was a cleaner "break", and much easier for me to accept.

The dysfunctional family deaths have been very difficult for me to handle. I hope that the grieving forum link given is helpful to you.

Regarding your ex-bf, I'd recommend keeping him in the past for a while. You don't need any more ups and downs in your world until you're feeling more stable. If you're both still interested when you get to that point, then give it a try more slowly (just in case he brings up a whirlwind of intense emotions within you).

Gentle hugs to you.