[midget84]

What started off as a good day, made a complete turn around out of nowhere.

I know I'm unstable mentally and I need someone to talk to every now and then. I don't expect everyone to understand what I'm going through or even what crosses my mind at times, but when I do start to have a meltdown I just support to help me through it, a shoulder to cry on and just a simple 'it'll be okay.'

I didn't get that today. I felt myself start to slip and the people I turn to let me down in the worse way. They know right now I can't afford to seek out professional help so they're all I have. The last thing I expected was to be let down and put down. I was told I was being selfish, spoiled, childish, I had one threaten to file charges against me tor getting on his nerves. Then they basically told me the world would be a better place without me.

It gets harder and harder not to believe everything being said.

[kaliope]

i am really sorry that your support system let you down. it sucks to have nobody in real life to turn to.

remember for next time, even though it is a poor substitute, there are the crisis lines, who will not judge you and you can always come here to PC and post and the chat rooms to talk as well. you are never alone.

Hugs.

(((((midget84)))))

I know that online support is not as good as real life support, but we at PC are here to listen, whenever you need to talk.

[midget84]

I don't even know what triggered my downward spiral today. One minute I was fine and happy then next I'm crying like a baby.

It's starting to feel like everyone thinks there's a switch you can flip to turn it on and off. I wish there was, but we all probably think that. I miss having that "normal" life. I hate not knowing if I can keep everything under control minute by minute or hour by hour.

I've lost all interest in everything. I don't get the joy I use to get out of music, reading, writing, or tv. I just want to sit in my bedroom and stare at the walls. My so called best friend told me I'm not allowed to contact them until Feb. for any reason including emergencies so I can learn my lesson for not controlling my emotions.

[Severijn]

Sorry to hear midget that you were let down.

The thing is, some people have no idea how to deal with serious mental problems, such as depression. As a reflex reaction, they dismiss/reject the person with the problem. Perhaps these problems become to personal, go about things they don't want to think about. It has to do with some insecurity I think.

This is why I never talk about serious problems with my friends. I do belief they'll probably respond well, but I just don't want to risk it.

Better to tell a therapist or the people here on the forum what's going on.

And btw, I think you can call that friend after a while (some weeks) and tell them you just had a rough day/time. I think you can make it up again.

You say you don't know what triggered your depression. That's always annoying when you don't know why it happens. Perhaps you need to do some more soul searching to find the reasons for why you are unhappy (sometimes)...

Take care, and feel free to say anything you want here. That's what this place is for.

[Adster]

Originally Posted by midget84

I don't even know what triggered my downward spiral today. One minute I was fine and happy then next I'm crying like a baby.

It's starting to feel like everyone thinks there's a switch you can flip to turn it on and off. I wish there was, but we all probably think that. I miss having that "normal" life. I hate not knowing if I can keep everything under control minute by minute or hour by hour.

I've lost all interest in everything. I don't get the joy I use to get out of music, reading, writing, or tv. I just want to sit in my bedroom and stare at the walls. My so called best friend told me I'm not allowed to contact them until Feb. for any reason including emergencies so I can learn my lesson for not controlling my emotions.

I feel the same way....although I'm only 14 my best friend wont hang with me anymore. I guess its cause I'm just so dull. I find nothing fun anymore. But I'm trying desperately to hold on to the fact that things have to get better at some time. I just want to lay down somewhere warm and stare at the clouds for a long time. And sometimes I do. I know I just want to be "normal" again, and not have to try my hardest to act that way when I'm with some one. But I'm SURE things have to get better at some time or another so for now I'll just live.

[midget84]

Thanks everyone! I can't say today is better then any other day but so far I've made it through half a work day without crying. I even had a customer compliment me on how well my customer service skills are and how patient I was with him, I actually cracked a smile

[Travelinglady]

Hey, midget, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. Dear one, have you been diagnosed with a mood disorder such as clinical depression or bipolar?

I have Bipolar II, and I have literally been laughing one minute and crying the next at one point. Believe me, WE understand here what you're going through.

It's sad, also, though, that many other so-called "normal" (ha) people in the world just don't get it. So, they say things like you heard. They get frustrated when they try to help and they see they aren't--so they get mad.

Please check around to see what services are available in your area. There should be a clinic that takes just what people can afford. I am on meds and see a psychiatrist and a therapist and that all helps to get me through.

You will need to try to hold it together at work, hon. Please keep in mind that you have a friend (and more to come) here--and that we do want to support you. You seem like a really nice person, and I'm glad you've joined us.

[midget84]

I've never been diagnosed as bi polar but a few years back when this happened before I did get suicidal. I am going to start looking for somewhere to go for clinical help.

You guys have bden amazing for the short time I've been here. I know now that I'm not completely alone and I will survive this even if it doesn't feel like it at times.

Oh and no tears at work today

[midget84]

My good turned bad My ex contacted me...yes he contacted me, yelling a screaming about me being overly emotional and how he was going to file harassment charges on me to teach me a lesson.

I can lose my job over something like that and he knows that. I don't know what to do anymore..when I did try to talk to him all I got was verbal abuse and now when I don't contact him he's contacting me yelling that he's gonna teach me a lesson.

The only good thing I guess is my ex fiance' has stepped up to the plate to try and support me how he can. He use to feel the same way that everyone else does now, but he's matured a lot from what I can tell since we broke up. He's there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on and he's said he's pushed his worries to the side when I need him because mine are more serious and can become life threatening where his are just minor money issues