[realtears]

Hello everyone, Im new on here, Just started meds and seeing a T. So far not helping but I know it takes time.Im just so tired of feeling this way, I have two children and am a single mom and I dont want to get out of bed, dont want to cook, clean, talk to anyone, I push everyone away, cant even get motivated to pay bills, cant afford xmas. And it seems like no one understands, you get told to put your big girl panties on or to suck it up.I know my children are the most important things in my life I know my depression is not fair to them but if it were so easy to just be fine and do the things I know I need to do dont you think I would do that.
I have a bad history of choosing horrible men which contribute alot to my depression. Abusive, cheating, you name it. the last two years seems like every guy I meet feed on my vulnerability act so sweet til they get what they want then runaway. Which leaves me wondering whats wrong with me???? I believe Im a pretty girl, I have a good sense of humor, Im sweet and loyal but I always get walked on, The latest happens to be someone I work with wich has thrown me into a big depression Bad enough my work forced me into counseling or they were going to call someone, they were afraid Id hurt myself which I would never do. Im just so Tired of letting my guard down letting someone in and being hurt. Now I have to keep working with this guy and I do have feelings for him but he Doesnt have any for me, one day he wont talk to me the next he is blowing upp my phone and calling nonstop, just mind games, now I find out he is talking to another girl at work and it kills me. I know this guy has absolutely nothing to offer me or my children but the pain and obssessing over it wont stop. Its on my mind 24-7 and its not someting I can get away from cause I have to work... ugh

[littleyellowspider]

It is hard to deal with people (like your work) who don't understand depression.I'm sorry that you are having a hard time. Good for you for taking the steps to see a T and take meds, I hope that these will help you start to feel better. You are right that it does take time so don't get discouraged if you don't feel better right away. I hope that you will be able to find some of the support you need on this site. lots of good wishes to you.

[kaliope]

Hi Realtears
I know how hard it is to raise kids when you are depressed. I had three. And the men I chose, it was like I was a magnet for controlling abusive types. I finally just gave up on relationships and focused on the kids. It was amazing how much simpler life became not having to worry about having a man to cater to. I got to discover who I was, go back to school and get a degree to make life better for me and my children. It was the best choice I ever made.

Welcome to PC. You will find a lot of support here. Make sure to check out the chat rooms.

Hugs

[realtears]

Thanks.. I know everyone says for me to just focus on the kids and I try I guess Im a dependant person, I have this void, overwhelming feeling of empty, I want someone to laugh with , to love, to share everyday with. I think Im going to have to switch meds, I have only been on them a week but they are making me really sick, I throw up everytime I take it

[CantExplain]

I take it you haven't been seing your therapist very long?

[depressedalaskan]

If your meds are making you sick, go in and try something else ASAP.

[realtears]

I have only seen her twice so far, I have delt with this all my life but never did much counseling.. Ill get really down cry and sleep all the time lose a ton of weight then ill snap out of it until something happens to trigger it again.. She put me on the wellbuterin Sr but I stopped taking it yesterday, she is on vacation the next two weeks but im feeling a lil better