[di meliora]

Those battling depression often think others do not understand what depressed people deal with. One of my sibs likes to boost my spirits by saying he does not think I an lazy, for example. Often, well-intentioned folks simply do not know what to say or not to say. This slide presentation may help.

http://www.health.com/health/gallery...393228,00.html

[puzzclar]

I have to smile with this one. The What not to say are soo true. and it may even bring a smile to your face... hehe... that's what they want...hehe

[elliemay]

I got a big kick out of some of the "don'ts" too. Like "have you tried chamomile tea?" . "I was depresed too for a couple of days"...

Funny stuff, because it's happened.

"Yeah, I was really depressed for a day or two after my goldfish died...."

So many people confuse depression with sadness. For this reason, I think the very least helpful thing to say would be, "Oh, you're young and healthy, and people love you, what do you have to be depressed about?" We don't always have to be depressed "about" something. When we have cancer, do we have cancer "about" something, or do we simply have cancer?

I so thoroughly despise that "life isn't fair" platitude. For me, that statement is more likely to plunge me even deeper into a negative state of mind: "If life isn't fair, then I want out of it." For that matter, I hate platitudes in general. Trite phrases such as "stinkin' thinkin'" or "pity party" just go directly to my stomach. When I'm depressed, I need real help, not cute phrases.

[Straywolf]

Yeah. I have to admit the "You have it so much better than most people" Is a dangerous one. It only makes me feel worse. So, not only am I depressed but ungrateful too? O_O
Sometimes, nothing even needs to be said at all, you just need a listening ear.

Originally Posted by Straywolf

Yeah. I have to admit the "You have it so much better than most people" Is a dangerous one. It only makes me feel worse. So, not only am I depressed but ungrateful too? O_O
Sometimes, nothing even needs to be said at all, you just need a listening ear.

Ohhh. SO true! I've had people sit down with me and try to reason me out of my feelings. After a few minutes, when I'm still depressed and not turning cartwheels for joy because they made me feel better, they get frustrated. Then comes a heavy sigh, and stomping away in anger. They'll say to the next person in line, "I give up. She's impossible. YOU talk to her!"

I don't need somebody to "talk" to me, dipstick. I need somebody to "hear" me.

[Beholden]

Good post!

One of the things that really gets me is when my old friend from way back or my daughter and son-in-law don't understand and most likely will give me Bible related words of wisdom. Not the words they use, but mean the same: prayer will heal, it is a spiritual issue, I don't believe depression is real, it is the devil working on your heart.

[DenisDonnacha]

got a kick out of some of those "don'ts"

[ariadna]

hehe most of the donts are the favorites of my mother , after that, i think i will try to take them more like nothing , thanks for that!!!

[Shadow-world]

Originally Posted by Straywolf

Yeah. I have to admit the "You have it so much better than most people" Is a dangerous one. It only makes me feel worse. So, not only am I depressed but ungrateful too? O_O
Sometimes, nothing even needs to be said at all, you just need a listening ear.

Yeah, I recently got something similar like, "But your life is really quite good". What a life looks like to outsiders and what it FEELS like for the person who experiences it, are two completely different things!!
In the past, I also got versions of "Just be happy" or "Just try and be happy".
Well... I don't need to say any more, I suppose.

Thanks for posting this. People always say such things to me. Just tonight I've ended up arguing with a friend who was 'trying to help' - basically covered everything but the chamomile tea (although, I'm sure it's only a matter of time...)