[Sweetheart.J]

I started cutting when I was about 12, stopped for a while (but still did other self destructive things like drugs and alcohol)... then cutting again for a while when I was about 15 or 16, I would cut myself on my legs where no one could see them.. When I was 17 I finished rehab and went to Outpatient care and I got a lot better, aside from occasionally smoking, I quit the hard drugs and the heavy drinking and the cutting and things got alot better in my life.. or so I thought.

I have tiny almost invisible scars from when I used to cut, nothing I was ever self conscience of.

Recently, I had an emotional and mental breakdown, I grabbed a pair of scissors and carved a LONG, DEEP cut on my wrist. I wasn't trying to kill myself, I was just in alot of pain at the time, and I still am.

Now I have this huge UGLY scar and I'm embarrassed.

At times I feel like doing it again from being so overwhelmed with pain and emotions, but I don't really WANT to do it. I have to myself over and over again not to do it.

The rehab was for the drug use, I have never sought help for my problem with cutting. I thought I was past that until recently.

[Ferrer15]

I think you should seek help for your problem in cutting. But please don't harm yourself. I also began cutting a year ago, and I have multiple scars. I stopped for a while but a month ago I also began cutting once more. I am now receiving the help I need and you should too.
What I do whenever I feel overwhelmed with pain and my emotions I grab an ice cube and hold it in my hands. That way, I feel the coldness and it distracts me from what I am feeling. That is just an alternative from cutting. Best Wishes!!

[Plethora]

First, please don't beat yourself up and stay stuck in those bad feelings of 'why you did it' after not doing this for awhile..It really does take a lot of Practice and our brain has a way of running on automatic where it can jump back to old 'habits' so easily if we don't practice new good habits whether it be meditation, relaxation, deep breathing ...on a continuous basis.. be kind to yourself, do nice things for yourself, do a lot of good 'self-care' and really practice what you have learned over the years that Does help through emotional upheavals.. you have a lot of great support here and I think it's great that you reached out ... Take good care and please be patient with yourself too..