[lenjan]

Could somebody please tell me that when you have been diagnosed with depression since age 13, been hospitalized for it, and had many recurrent episodes, it's *OK* to be depressed? Everybody else around me thinks I'm being self-indulgent, when what I am is depressed as hell. One "friend" decided it would be nice to tell me about her friend who's had 3 rounds of chemo that failed, is now going into experimental treatment, and is just the most chipper, upbeat, wonderful person on earth in spite of it.

Yay for her. Some people are naturally upbeat, no matter what. Some people are not. I am not. I have plenty of trauma in my past, I am dealing with an illness which nearly killed me and still has the potential to, dealing with the loss of my job, income, health insurance, independence, etc, and it's pretty damn hard to be upbeat when everything is falling apart around me. Personally, I think there's something wrong with that woman that she ISN"T depressed! LOL

I just am having a hard time right now with the curveballs life has thrown me, and I need to know I'm not bad or stupid or selfish for having a hard time with it.

Candy

[wi_fighter]

((((((((((Candybear))))))))))

Maybe that other woman is in denial about her illness.

The thing that seems easy for some people to forget is that depression IS an illness. Just like diabetes - it has its chemical element (chemicals in the brain not being present in sufficient numbers or not absorbed readily) and its lifestyle element (living in stressful situations or having poor self esteem as a result of previous experiences). It is NOT a life choice. NObody chooses to have diabetes; nobody chooses to have depression. It is a REAL illness, and only those who have not experienced it claim otherwise. Sure, there are things one can do to improve the situation (self help - the things you are already doing, candy) in the same way that people who have diabetes can affect their illness by the things they eat.

So yes, you have a real illness.You are NOT being self indulgent. You are NOT bad, stupid or selfish for struggling with depression.

(((candybear)))) Be gentle with yourself.

[(JD)]

Chronic depression is not a choice in any sense of the word. Major -or medical- depression really isn't understood by the general population. In fact, many doctors don't "get it" when it comes to fully realizing the extent of true depression.

(This is not to say that acute depression doesn't hurt, also.)

I hope you are soon able to discount their ignorance and move on with what you need to do to feel better in your life... and hope you also realize that some days the depression wins.

[Lexicon78]

I've been in your shoes...everyone expects you to be like everyone else, no matter what you're experiencing. Well, if you ask me, those people need to wake up to reality and accept that you are an individual and have the right to act like yourself and not like someone else!

I think it is perfectly fine to be depressed. I know I am. And I was diagnosed with depression when I was 12. So don't go by what other people want from you. You only need to please yourself!

Take care.

[greenfairy]

you are not being self-indulgent. depression is real and painful and unfortunately some people dont care to understand that. i once got a message from a friend, in response to my depression, that he preferred to not have pathos in his life, as though i was somehow choosing to be down or blue. its not a choice. you are not bad or stupid or selfish. you just need some tlc right now, and it doesnt help when people interpret that need as self-indulgent. take care of you.

[wi_fighter]

Major depression stinks. That's all I can say.

Most days are pretty good now, but if I had everything happen to me that you've gone through lately, I can guarantee I'd be sitting on the edge of the bed, staring into space, having no clue how to get going again.

Just when I think "Hey, maybe I CAN kick this thing," it rears it's ugly head.

No, you're not being self indulgent, not at all.