can't find any validation

went looking thru some old stuff from high school (years ago) hoping to find something, anything, i wrote or drew or something to validate what happened to me. all i found was a valentine card from my mother (one of my abusers) telling me how much she loved me and how she appreciated me...made me sick to my stomach. i don't remember that card or her ever saying those things face to face.
anyway, i was also s***ally abuses by my uncle. tried to find something in those school years essays, poems anything that pointed to those times. nothing specific. a lot of dark, depressing stuff and weird stuff.
my T believes me, my H believes me. no one in the family does. i was nothing but a lier.
sorry, i'm just having a day...
w_i

{{{{{ w_i }}}}}

I'm sorry this is troubling you. Are you searching for validation to clear your name with family or for your own peace of mind, or both?

I think as long as you know the truth, that's what you need to hold on to.

I believe you with all my heart and soul.

Petunia

I believe you. I am sorry for your pain.

I believe you. I am sorry you are going through a hard time with your family. I am glad your t and your husband both believe you that is what is important. Families have a hard time with abuse issues and seem to lean toward denial. I am sorry that it is causing you distress right now. Don't let them distort your own knowledge of what happened.

I believe you (((((((((((((((white iris)))))))))))))))

I'm sorry you are feeling invalidated. I can so relate and wish you didn't have a family that treats you in such a way.
Don't know if this is the case with you, but the invalidation by my family has left me at times-- questioning my own sanity- if I really know what is real and what isn't.

I hope you are having a better day today.

mandy

thanks to ((((((((everyone))))))))
it is the realization that when it happened, (some lifetime ago it seems), uncle denied, parents and family believed him, not me. safety net gone, uncle free to continue...
i wrote about everything--why not this??? or did i and it was "lost"?
w_i

perhaps it was shuttled off into part of your mind that was supposed to keep it secret. there is also generally a lot of shame attached to abuse of any kind...that's how they keep us silent. so perhaps that was what kept you from writing. there is also the fact that if so many other boundaries were being crossed, would you have had any claim to privacy of any kind? if not, then you might not have written so that it wouldn't be seen by people who would only use it to hurt or shame you.

those are a few of the reasons that come to mind for me... maybe one of them rings true for you?

(((((((((((w_i)))))))))))

i believe you.

-shadow

shadow--makes sense, thanks. there are several "parts of my mind" that hold those secrets. maybe, sometime, i'll be able to get a better view of the situation and someone will write about it...
w_i