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#1
Feb 20, 2006, 01:58 AM
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Today, marks the first annivesary of when I felt that I could not go on anymore and felt the only way out was to end the pain.
I almost did not survive. I spent a couple of days in the ER of a psychiatric hospital and about about 3 weeks after that surrounded by the safety of being allowed to be miserable. I also underwent ECT treatment during this time. I came out of hospital more depressed than ever, left my job and career, lost my income and almost lost my family - and I started the slow incline to where I am today. It has been a tough year but one of personal growth and determination. I still have many many issues that I deal with daily, or that I sweep under the carpet to deal with tomorrow, but I am stronger and happier than I can ever remember being. After seeing me **pour crimson regret and betrayal**, it feels to me that my husband has come to love me more, and I think he has forgiven the hurt I caused him. I have forgiven myself. If I had not done this I wouldn't (or perhaps couldn't) have grown to where I am today. I guess I realized that I needed a helping hand. And I found two .......... at the end of each of my arms. I am very happy that I am here today. ** borrowed from a song called My Tourniquet by Evanescence
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 Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#2
Feb 20, 2006, 02:10 AM
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I'm glad you're here...sounds like lots of growth this past year, with a lot of hard work!
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#3
Feb 20, 2006, 03:00 AM
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Hi Sabrina.
I know how you feel. It is a tough battle and very discouraging. You should be very proud of yourself for winning the battle so far. Keep fighting and you will make it. I am sure of it. |
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#4
Feb 20, 2006, 03:04 AM
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What a wonderful testiment to survival, Sabrina! Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so happy that your world is a different place today.
Please be extra specially kind to yourself through this time. KD
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#5
Feb 20, 2006, 05:45 AM
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you've survived more than most even endure. we're always glad that someone pulls through especially when they've been going through such horrendous difficulties.
it is delightful to have you back around and truly wonderful to read your wisdom and ability in forgiving yourself. that's something many need work on. wanna help teach us?  thank you for sharing where you've been and where you're at now. what a journey, eh? welcome back to happiness for being alive......refreshing when that feeling returns after such an extended absence.
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