Where do I fit?

I don't seem to fit anywhere. Even my diagnosis is unclear anymore. It has always been said that my diagnosis was "major depressive disorder with bipolar features." The doctor always made sure to reasure me that I was not bipolar, I just have some feathures that are simular to bipolar. NOW, my therapist seems to think I am bipolar, I just don't know what manic is. Not only that, he thinks I am using my mental illness, and my numerous hospitalizations to minipulate my husband. I am so ticked off, I can't see straight.
bren

((((((((((bren)))))))))


I have MDD and my Pdoc thought I might have BP. I said I'd never had a manic episode. He told me you don't have to have mania to have BP.

He must have ruled out BP based on his observations and my response to a different antidepressant medication. Lexapro has been a wonderful change.

i know its easier said than done, but please try not to get caught up in all the labelling. i was originally diagnosed with ptsd and four years later a pdoc diagnosed me with bpd. does that mean the first diagnosis was incorrect? or the second? or both? who knows. now its something totally different. the best advice i can give you is to focus less on what it is they think you have and more on whether or not your treatment is working for you. if you are on meds, do they make you feel better or worse? is talk therapy helping or hurting? i know its reassuring to know what the exact problem is, but i dont think its quite an exact science. we change over time and therefor are problems may change with us. experiences change us, making us better or worse. the most important thing is to get better. wishing you best of luck and sending big hugs your way.

A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with bpd and medicated accordingly. The diagnosis was way off and I subsequently learned that the pdoc I was seeing was more sick that most of his patients. The medication almost killed me. I had a powerful blood pressure reaction to it and all the added meds to combat side effects. (Fortunately whilst in hospital).
Sorry - quite off the point. Anyway, more recently I was diagnosed with MDD and GAD and this seemed to make a lot more sense to me.

I composed a reply earlier then changed my mind, but feel I have to say that I feel "strange" that your therapist is suggesting that you are manipulative. This just doesn't seem the kind of thing a therapist should do. That is just my opinion of course.

Oh, and you know what? You do fit in! I believe you fit in quite well here. And will find plenty love and support. I wish you strength.

I've had that dilemma before. I have been diagnosed from everything from schizophrenia to simple depression. My last diagnosis was schizoaffective disorder which for me is basically depression with psychotic features. They also say I have borderline personality disorder.

Does it really matter what they diagnose you as? Those are just labels, IMO, that people stick on you to categorize your characteristics of personality. I quit believing in those labels. Now I am just me, who has had a pretty rough life. That's it. I have problems is all. People tell me I am mentally ill and sick. I tell them I am not...I am just a product of my environment...does that in itself make me sick? That must mean that everyone else in the world is, too.

Hang in there. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere either. You are not alone in this feeling.

bren,
Labels are not very good really.

Am I a tin of baked beans?
No! I am someone who has been through a lot, and I'm still here!

My T never talks about mental illness, but how I am suffering and supports me to have the best life I can.
Can you change your therapist?

I guess the reason it all bothers me, is my meds. I am a stickler on checking to see if I am on the right meds. Sometimes it does not make sence to me why I am on certain meds, and I question it. That is usually why the subject of diagnosis comes up with my T and me.
bren

I think meds can be used for any type of disorder or illness. The main reason for meds is to stabilize or control certain SYMPTOMS, not necessarily the illness itself.

Like with my illness, I'm on Cymbalta. That controls the depression. Depression is my main symptom. When I'm not doing well, my psychotic symptoms will emerge. It doesn't happen very often, though. That's why I'm not on something to control the psychotic symptoms. I just don't have them enough to warrant more meds right now.

My bf has schizoaffective disorder...he has psychotic symptoms daily so he is on many meds to control those symptoms, not necessarily his illness. He's on Clozaril, Cogentin, Celexa, and Wellbutrin. The Clozaril controls the psychotic symptoms he has. The Cogentin helps with some of the side effects of the Clozaril. And Celexa and Wellbutrin is for his depression...all symptoms of his illness.

I guess what I'm saying is that you should concentrate more on your symptoms than the diagnosis you are given.

Hi bren, nice to meet you!

Ok, is something "going around" amongst mental health professionals? I've been seeing the same pdoc for 15 years and was diagnosed with Major Depression Recurrent. One time he put the DSM code for Bipolar on some paperwork, I questioned it, and he said that was a mistake and corrected it.

I began seeing a T. again (hadn't seen one in years and this one was referred to me as good with anxiety issues) and on my first visit she said I was Bipolar. I said I had NEVER had a manic episode and she said the same thing...I could be Bipolar without mania. HUH????

So, next visit to pdoc I told him and he said "Yes, you are Bipolar." He did say to not worry about labels and they weren't really "fair" because they lumped people together into diagnoses when everyone is so unique. I can accept that...but I still think it is very odd to be told I'm bipolar out of the blue after 15 years!!!!

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I am a stickler on checking to see if I am on the right meds. Sometimes it does not make sence to me why I am on certain meds, and I question it.

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I feel exactly the same way!! I don't want to be taking meds I don't have to due to a wrong diagnosis. During this time I've been on short-term disability from work, my meds have been changed, increased, added to, subtracted from until my head is spinning! And I STILL don't feel well.

As for my T., she seemed like she would be good, but everything she said on my first visit she has now said the opposite. (Not regarding my dx, just things like saying I shouldn't go back to my job at all due to the high stress level; now she says go back...she told me last visit she could get a job for me back in my field "tomorrow" because she is the director; I asked her about it yesterday and she said they weren't hiring until next Oct. Hasn't addressed anxiety at all...

I have been on Zoloft & Depakote for years, now I'm on increased dosages of both of those PLUS Wellbutrin and Lamictal. pdoc says the plan is to get me off Zoloft & Depakote and be only on Lamictal and Wellbutrin. If I knew how to do it safely, I'd take myself off Zoloft & Depakote. (Ok, starting to ramble off issue.)

labels are things that need to be cut out of dresses.....

sorry about the crap T. .... can you change therapists?

Hey Fuzzy...

Not sure if you were asking me or bren about changing T.'s? I'm pretty sure I can and will.