hate depression

I hate depression. I hate that it never really goes away. I hate how much it's affecting my life even when I'm trying so freaking hard. I'm in individual therapy 1-2 times a week, a dbt group once a week, am on my 5th med I'm trying to see if anything helps without causing debilitating insomnia. I can be perfectly happy one day from morning to night, then wake up the next day in a slump and despite my best efforts feel even worse as the hours pass. I can't keep doing this for the rest of my life. I'm so miserable.

Don't give up. Sometimes it does take long to get the meds that works for you. I lost count of the tries it took! Good luck and stay strong!