[PickleJar55]

I have a lot of regrets.... and I know my life would be a lot better had I made other choices. I regret gaining so much weight, self esteem is shot to hell. I regret not being with an ex. It's been like 8 years since we broke up but I'm still not over him. I've only had one boyfriend since then. I regret letting my life and depression get this bad. Ironically I regret having that ex I can't get over, we were together right after HS graduation and through college. I was so wrapped up in him, I didn't take time to make friends and enjoy dorm life. I had no friends in college.... I still have no friends. I constantly dream about being back in college and living in the dorms.....
.......please excuse me if my thoughts seem all over the place... because they are...

I am alone.... and it's my fault

[Leed]

Sweetie, don't live in regrets. When we live in yesterday, we're "pooping" on today! We CAN'T do that. Today is a gift. We're wasting it.

Ok, so you put on some weight -- I think all of us struggle with that at one time or another. How about joining weight watchers? Their meals are really pretty good! And the weight DOES come off if you stick to just their meals!! I'm not sure what the cost is, but if you want to lose weight bad enough it MIGHT be worth it. LOL Or -- can you join a gym? That's a lot of work, but it's healthy! It's good for the self-esteem too! And you'll meet PLENTY of people who are doing the same thing. (guys too )

It's tough having regrets -- but don't let them live in your head. They'll take root, and you won't think of anything else. You can't live like that dearheart. It's not healthy cause then you'll isolate, if you haven't already. Get out among people, even if it's just to go to the library, or the mall or someplace -- but get out!

And how about talking to a therapist about your depression? I have and it's done a world of good. I'm sure it would help you too. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[Shadow-world]

PickleJar55, welcome to PC!

You sound as if you are currently quite stuck in the past and can't free yourself from it. I do know what that feels like. At the same time, I wholeheartedly embrace what Leed has said above. We are wasting our lives doing it rather than living in the present moment.
I've spent far too much time doing that, but I've tried to live more mindfully these days, which means being fully in the present moment and making the most of it.

I'm not saying that some of my previous regrets or insecurities are not coming back sometimes, but I try not to dwell too much on them and move on.

Joining something is a brilliant idea. I joined a social club quite a while ago, which has made some difference to my life. Yes, the gym might be great, too, especially if you want to lose weight and enjoy exercise classes.

I wish you all the best and hope you can come back to the present a bit more.

Shadow-world