My sleep has been sporadic. My body repeatedly jars itself awake *just* before I get all the way to "asleep," and when I do sleep I'm nightmare-plagued.

Several stressors going on.

My t-appt yesterday was cancelled due to severe weather. I cancelled it myself, I should point out, but please know that the weather was VERY severe and there were storm warnings about. It would have been more traumatic for me to be out in it, than to miss my appointment, particularly since I don't drive and would have actually been outdoors for significant amounts of time while waiting for a bus. Those in charge of my care understand perfectly.

Speaking of weather, certain conditions do have an effect on my level of depression, and the gloominess, cloudiness, and rain around here has been relentless for months.

A beloved aunt of mine passed away recently, and I'm grieving. In fact, she is the second relative to pass since the start of this year, a third is not expected to last much longer either, and a fourth has recently been hospitalized with severe breathing problems.

Our house is undergoing a remodel, but the weather has delayed the process, and there are unhung doors and windows plus the hardware that goes with it, all over the place. The windows and doors that have been hung are without trim, unsightly insulation exposed, not exactly looking homey and inviting around here. This isn't anybody's fault. It can't be helped. But the chaos is still upsetting.

I have been physically ill. I'm having stress-related difficulty controlling my diabetes. Thus a chain reaction of water retention, swelling in the hands and feet, joint pain, and difficulty walking. Excess fluid is also built up in my inner ears, causing roller-coaster-like sensations when I so much as turn my head. On top of this, digestive disturbances I won't go into detail about. Medication is controlling all of this as best it can.

Just a lot to deal with, and I think it's all intertwined.

LovebirdsFlying, hope feel better soon. Adequate sleep is a must, especially since you are grieving too. Hope your therapist may help you too.

Good luck.

[lynn P.]

It must be very hard when you're dealing with so many challenges - physically, mentally and externally. I hope everything calms down soon for you.

[turquoisesea]

I'm sorry for all you're going through, it sounds like so much stress. I really hope the medications can kick in for you, have you talked to your general doctor about the sleeplessness/nightmares? Maybe you can get some medications to help you sleep.

My sleep was almost normal last night, and I almost feel good today. It's not restful to the point where I'm not tired all day yet, but I am moving in that direction.

I actually got up and took a shower this morning, which is something I normally don't have enough energy to do. I'll confess I've been letting my hygiene slip badly. That's part of depression. Nobody's complained or anything, but *I* felt scuzzy.

Will schedule an appointment with the general doctor today. I have been having a lot of problems with leg and foot pain, which I suspect is related to the diabetes. And I want her to refer me to a sleep study program to see if I'm not going into sleep apnea. There is that distinct possibility.