What should I do?!

Hi, so we moved to a new country for my education (university), but im going crazy here, i cant study at all, i procrastinate all the time, and im letting my family down. My mom doesn't even want to stay here but my dad is making her because im a girl and i shouldn't be left alone in their opinion. My dad does not live here because his job is in another country which makes it even harder for my mom to survive here. I'm not the best kid either, im a very untidy person, i don't help my mom at all and she thinks im rude and selfish as well (that is not my problem fully as she also has an attitude problem). She keeps on saying you ruined our lives and wants us to go back but i tell her my future will go to waste there and she tells me that i never study and that i sleep all the time. That is true, but she doesn't know that i really cant, and she doesn't understand the excuse of depression for it. I sleep like a polar bear and cant focus whatsoever, idk how im going to get into university. She says we are all going through this trouble for you at least make use of it and study but what can i do when i really truly cant study, my brain literally stopped working and taking information in. Also i cant mention anything about a psychologist to them as my father doesn't believe in them and when i told my brother to make an appointment with one, he ignored me and i think its because of the money. I personally don't like spending my dads money on my own problems. my other family members have also huge problems which doesn't help my situation. The universe is totally against me, anything i do is wrong, and all the bad things happen to me one after another. I really don't know how i can go on like this.

Wow.

• depressed
• adjusting to another country
• adjusting to another school/educational institution
• controlling & absent father
• blamed by mother for her situation and unhappiness
• family rejects psychology, etc.

It's no wonder you can't concentrate on studies. Can you approach a counselor at your school? Might you be better suited to a different type of education in your new country?

Hey there, I'm Peter. I know the feeling your having right now because I've had it too myself. You feel lonely and you feel like the whole universe is railing against you. Depression is a nightmare. It leaves you feeling drained all the time and you have absolutely no motivation to do anything and you really just feel like letting it all go. If you can I would really try to speak to someone about the feelings your having. I know you parents don't believe in psychologists or councillors so maybe you should go and see one without letting them know, but you should maybe try and talk to them about it first.

As I opened up to my parents about my depression I felt that they didn't fully understand what I was feeling and I found it hard to get my point across. I broke down crying and I managed to get all my feelings out there. That helped me in a big way to get all those feelings out there and I felt at last that my mother knew what I was going through.

Try doing some exercise as this can help to greatly reduce the symptoms of depression (anything that can get your heart rate up, even just a brisk walk) and try not to isolate yourself either. I felt worst when I spent a lot of time by myself in my bedroom. My heart goes out to memoi and I promise you that things will get better

Ur little friend from NI