[12357890]

Hey. I'm new here. I'm 18 years old i hate my life. I just feel like killing myself everyday. My parents financial problems are causing them to fight. Mum wants to leave my dad and it happens everyday. Everyday there's a new story. If it's not my mum it's my dad otherwise my siblings and i fight . It's just unbearable. I'm in my last year in school. I was supposed to be done but i repeated a year. I'm trying my best to achieve good marks so that i can become something and get my parents out of this slump... I get good marks but i always barely pass maths and i always crap because i try so hard.. I enjoy school and it used to take my mind off other things. I used to be jolly and happy and make jokes in school but nowadays i just feel like crap. I hardly talk and ppl are asking me what's wrong nowadays. I don't feel comfortable telling them cos i can't trust nobody. My "friends" are unbelievable. It's always me that should take the car to go out. I'm being used like crazy and i don't feel good at all. I can't trust nobody. I always thought i should give it time but things never change. It kills me that i can't help solve these problems. I'm sick of life. I've never tried drugs and i don't smoke but nowadays i feel like doing these vices cos it makes me feel better, for a while. Last year i had my first gf . She was always there for me to help me solve my problems but she dumped me in a week. Went out with me again and dumped me again. She then came to my school. We are now in the same class and i feel like crap. We hardly talk. And our once very strong friendship is ruined. I feel like nobody cares about me. I don't know what to do. Suicide is a sin in my religion and that's my last resort. But that seems like my only option now...

[Leed]

Don't even THINK about suicide. It's a sin in God's world -- in any religion. Suicide is a permanent solution to a TEMPORARY problem! This isn't always going to be like this! Being a teenager is difficult. It's hard for everyone. Too many things happen to young people. They're trying to get thru school, their bodies are changing, their hormones are raging, they don't know what they want to do with their lives, their parents are on them all the time, the families are many times dysfunctional, etc. SO many things are out of whack!!!! You aren't alone!!!!

Drugs are NEVER the answer either! You can get addicted; you can get caught by the cops; you can overdose by accident. Addiction is a life of pure @##$ I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict and let me tell you that the 20 years I spent in that kind of life was like living in hell. And getting clean/sober was the hardest thing I've ever done!!!! i've been clean/sober now for almost 19 years -- and I'll NEVER go back to that life! Don't start -- you might never get out of it alive.

If friends are 'using' you, find new friends. Those friends aren't "real' friends. Find friends who like you for YOU -- not for what you can DO for them. You can find friends like that -- just keep looking.

Life is good! Keep trying in school, and ask for help in math if you're having trouble. Sometimes a teacher can set up a tutor for you----or another student can sometimes help. Just do the best you can. Never give up --- God is ALWAYS walking WITH YOU to get you thru. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[-Astral-]

Sorry that you are feeling this way , please dont take drugs it only makes things worse and you dont want to be hooked on them ...
I think you need to talk to your dr if you are feeling like this he/she might be able to get you counseling.

[Hamartia]

I am sorry you are going through this. I also grew up in a similar family situation. It has taken a long time for me to understand that I am not responsible and ultimately CAN'T fix my family's problems even though I really wish I could. I have tried in vain for many years to sort the issue all out and in doing so made myself feel miserable in the process. The only thing you can do right now, especially if you are feeling this way is to try to take care of yourself. If you can try to study in a park or somewhere that you don't have to be around the constant fighting as much at least until you can start supporting yourself and move out. I am sorry again. Things will get better. Just remember you can never fix someone else's problems for them. Only they can do that.

[Cuppa tea]

Hi,

Talking to others is a step in the right direction, it shows that
You want things to change. Sometimes it feels like life has control
Of us, the trick is to get to that mystical 'happy place' where we
Feel like we can grab life by the balls and 'seize the day'.easier said
Than done when you feel rock bottom. Have you thought about
Talking to your family. They are probably so wrapped up in
Their own problems that they are oblivious to yours. They
Would most likely be mortified to know you are so low, and
Maybe they could try to resolve things one way or the other.
Maybe family counselling? Perhaps your college could offer
You a counselling service if you just need someone other than
Your family to speak too, they may also be able to give you extra
Support with your studies in light of the situation. Either way,
I think it would be good to let your family know how the
Atmosphere at home is affecting you. Stay strong. X