[dailyhealing]

I just had this really great week! I was involved in putting on a play with the kids at my school and had a great time. They are little kids, kindergarten through 4th grade, and it was fun watching them perform and be successful. I liked the adults putting on the play and enjoyed working with them. I even had a short appearance in the play just for fun. I went out after the final performance last night with friends and family to celebrate and had a really great time. I felt really connected and happy.

So you are probably wondering what the heck this has to do with emptiness... Well, I just have this feeling of emptiness and loneliness tonight. And not just today, it is there many days. Even when I'm around people I am connected with. It just feels like there is this part of me that will just always be wounded. It's better than it once was, much better, but it is still there. My life is actually pretty good. I have a good marriage, two kids who are doing pretty well, good friends, etc... I even like my job and most of the people I work with. Yet, this feeling still persists sometimes. Tonight is one of those times.

I know that there is no answer to this and that the feelings that come are just a part of my life. I also have learned that as I feel and share the bad feelings I do tend to move towards feeling better overall. But it gets old. People say nice things to me, spend time with me, and it feels good at that time. It feels good for a while, but it is never enough to fully take away that emptiness. I wish I could feel the care more that I am pretty sure people have towards me.

Thanks for listening.

[Puffyprue]

(((((((Dailyhealing))))))))))

[lynn09]

(((dailyhealing))) I don't pretend to know you well, however I think the clue to identifying that void is your statement, "I wish I could feel the care more that I am pretty sure peope have towards me."

When we have difficulty receiving, experiencing, and fully assimilating the care others express towards us, it's often because somewhere deep inside we still don't love ourselves enough to believe that we truly "deserve" (hate that word) to be cared about by others. Perhaps you feel good when people say nice things to you and spend time with you because it gives you the validation of your self-worth that you (we all) need - at least momentarily. But, perhaps somewhere deep within, you're just not convinced yet - self-doubts get in the way, maybe negative self-talk causes static, and you don't know how to give yourself permission to truly love yourself so that you can validate your own self-worth and not have to rely on getting small doses of that validation from others. Perhaps that emptiness is where a healthy and loving relationship with yourself belongs.

Just a thought. lynn09

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( Dailyhealing ))))))))))))))))