I can't take it...

I can't take it any more...I used to be so positive, and up beat...Now, I just want to die...

I had a dream this morning at 4:15am that woke me up now I can't get back to sleep. It's now 5:49am...and I'm just finishing this post.

I was hospitalized 3 times already, twice by ambulance and once by police car in less than a 90 day period.

I lost everything that I have ever worked for and now I want to just do myself in. Yet, I don't have the guts to do it.

I struggle with getting out of bed in the morning for months, I suffer with intense deep, dark, heavy depression and basically DON'T want to live...any more.


I know this sounds horrible and lame, but I just walk around the house all day, I don't step out of the house for days on end, or leave my bed room.

I just lay around from the chair, couch then back to bed...my mind is constantly thinking of why I thought of killing my self last year which lead to losting everything.

I mean everything!!!

Now i have to rebuild my life from scratch...I so much want to die. (Sorry for saying it but that's just how i feel right now.)

For me, I just feel that life is NOT worth living!

I'm also sorry for being such a huge downer...that's just how i FEEL.

I CAN'T EVEN CRY EVEN IF i WANTED TOO

When it comes to not leaving the house I know exactly how you mean. I've got clinical depression among other things, im not going to pretend its easy but it will slowly get better. Have you tried talking to someone, maybe a therapist? You might feel that life isn't worth living, but you can't tell the future. Whats to say something better doesn't come along eventually? Its just the journey of getting there which is going to take a lot of strength but its got to be there somewhere. Try having a chat with someone, it might help a little. It never helps to block things up.

(((((((((((((johnnybegood)))))))))))))

i dont have any words to comfort you , but iam here

send you hug as much as you need , hope it help a little

Thank YOU, I simply wish I never existed ... Unfortunately, that's the God's honest TRUTH!!!

I'm sorry you're there too Johnny Be Good. Just do what it takes to survive today. That's my goal.

I understand your desperation. I'm nearly there myself. Is there anything to help you to hold on, like friends, relatives, God, a goal? Sometimes all that helps me is distracting myself; playing online games, talking to others, listening to music, etc.

Please hang on. If it's OK, may I pray for you?