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#1
May 03, 2012, 04:36 PM
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i realized a while ago, after going in and out of hospitals and treatment centers, that everytime i come back home i turn into the same hot mess that i was before i left. im unhappy here and i also doubt that i can be sober here. i think about what it would be like if i stopped smoking or having the occasional drink. i would probably want to hang myself. (sorry if that triggers anybody). im depressed, anxious, lonely, and pissed off when im here. im not blaming my family for any of my problems, but i honestly think that this environment is toxic to me and my mental health. my family thinks they know me so well, but they only know what i allow them to see. i cant explain how freeing it feels to come to this website and express myself. i just personally want to thank everyone for the support. it means SO much to me. thank god that there is another soul that i can communicate with. i keep everything in all the time, i could never tell them the things that i post online. im not comfortable expressing my deep, profound feelings to them. i feel like a caged bird...........or maybe its the agoraphobia. the agoraphobia is getting a better, but i still feel like im trapped inside the house, and im trapped inside of the hollow shell that is me, and i dont think ill ever really be free until i leave here.
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 Anonymous32474, Anonymous37781, carrie_ann, Johnny Be Good, KeepGoing8
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#2
May 03, 2012, 04:41 PM
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Listen to the inner you ... It isn't easy, but it is freeing ... I know, I left mine behind 20 years ago ... It was the best thing I ever did for my emotional and physical well being ...
Sometimes our families are the problem and we are simply manifesting the symptoms of the sickness they are imposing upon us ... 
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 so_punk_rock
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#3
May 03, 2012, 08:49 PM
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I left my home at 20 unaware of how much my being around my family was bad for me. I kept a lot of distance at first, and now keep the contact to what I am comfortable with. I know for me that I did not really start to get better from my depression until I left the house. Of course, I needed therapy, meds, and a lot of work... But I think being out of that environment allowed me to begin that process. If it is possible for you to get out of there, it sounds like it would be really good for you! Thanks for posting!
__________________
dailyhealing "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller Strange how people who suffer together have stronger connections than those who are most content. –Bob Dylan “If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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| so_punk_rock
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#4
May 03, 2012, 10:18 PM
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Yeah. Best thing I ever did was leave home as soon as I possibly could
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| so_punk_rock
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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