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#1
May 08, 2012, 10:42 PM
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I am a single mother of five ages 2-17, but I am struggling to care for them properly. I can barely get the house clean and make meals. My life feels like torture. I CRY all the time, especially when I look at or think about my kids. I am not the mother they deserve. I just cannot deal with my li fe anymore. I recently moved, have not friends, am in financial debt, cant buy clothes for my kids, my car is falling a part and my list can go on forever. On top of all these problems I suffer from depression and I know I am in a major depressive episode because everything is dark, empty, and has not purpose. I am seeing a primary care doctor who put me on wellbutrin, cellexa and ativan. I am misusing the ativan because I don't want to feel anything (I took five at one time today) . I just want to give up, I think about call my ex to take over. I am lost and just don't know how to get out.
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 lynn09, Puffyprue, roads, Rohag
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#2
May 09, 2012, 03:58 AM
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Hello, rcrss5, and welcome to PC. I'm so sorry that you're having such a rough go of things, but please, please, please be careful with your meds. If you feel that you are in danger of harming yourself by overdosing or in any other way, please call 911 and go to the ER where they can keep you safe.
I don't know how long you've been on meds, but it can take several weeks before some reach a therapeutic level in your system - so please be patient and give the meds a chance to do their job. Taking care of 5 children by yourself is stressful enough without trying to deal with a major depressive episode at the same time. If it is possible for your ex or some other family member to take care of your children for a while, perhaps that would be helpful - perhaps it would give you a chance to get whatever medical/psych treatment you need to stabilize your mood and alleviate the depression somewhat so you can function more effectively. You say that you are not the mother that your children deserve, but giving up on yourself is not the answer. Do everything possible to get whatever assistance you need to deal with the depression so you can be the person you want and have every right to be, and so you can be the mother your children need. Don't beat up on yourself - treat yourself with the very same care and compassion you would show one of your children, another loved one, or a friend, if they were experiencing what you are now. This life is not about what you/others do/do not deserve, but rather helping each other get what we need to become the people we want to be and have the lives we desire. Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing and what support we can provide to help you get through this.  lynn09
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"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!" (Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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 Puffyprue
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#3
May 10, 2012, 02:22 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
In another post, Lynn09 offered advice on where to seek practical help in your community. If you live in the USA, 2-1-1 (United Way / AIRS) could be a place to start. Please Rcrss5, as you have the energy, keep posting.
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My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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#4
May 10, 2012, 04:39 PM
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__________________
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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