[doggiedo]

I'm so lonely. I am thinking that if I don't go to work they might notice...but other than that.l..I live in a community where no one cares. I don't talk to friends. I don't have anyone anymore. It's all so stupid. I don't even understand why I was put on this earth..

[Travelinglady]

I'm sorry for your loneliness. To answer your question, I certainly have wondered if people would miss me. (And even if many people would come to my funeral.) I think those questions tend to go along with depression. At least they do for me.

However, I am married, have children, other relatives, and some friends. So, I'd like to think somebody would miss me, if only to think "Well, I'm glad she's not being a pain to me any more!") Yet, I try to be a decent person and to be helpful, the best I can, so maybe there are some positive aspects about me that might be missed.

I see you have labeled yourself "Doggiedoo." I KNOW you are more valuable than that, even though we haven't gotten to know each other yet. And I see that you believe in miracles. I do, too.

Are you seeing a therapist? You do sound depressed. (I know, that's probably a dumb thing to say. After all, you posted in the depression forum.) I can tell you that there are people in the world who would like to get to know you and be your friends. It's sometimes hard to reach out, but it can be done. In the meantime, have you checked out the folks who are lonely social group here at PC?

Please keep in touch here. I already would miss you if I don't hear from you again! (And I WILL not think of you by your self-chosen name, for goodness sake!)

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by doggiedo

Ever wonder who would miss you?

Yes, I do wonder that sometimes. Also, as does PAYNE1, I wonder how many will attend my eventual funeral.

Originally Posted by doggiedo

I don't even understand why I was put on this earth.

As for me, all I've got are speculations.

Here are three monsters:

• Depression
• Loneliness
• Meaninglessness

Individually they're powerful. Together they're terrifying. At the very least, here you are not alone, Doggiedo.

[Sadeyes3533]

I'm also experiencing crushing loneliness outside of the few family members that speak to me I have no one. I fell in love with a women who not only will never speak to me again but is already in a relationship with someone else. The few friends have pretty much abandoned me. But the funny thing is whenever someone dies than people want to say how much they miss them and put up this fake front.

[doggiedo]

Thanks guys. I picked the name DoggieDo b/c it was on the doggie poo bags that I use at the apartment complex. They have these stations for poo pick up. It was just a clever play on words I thought. I don't actually think of myself as dog poo, or at least I don't think I do.

Everyone says I'm not alone, but what really does that mean? You aren't alone. What consistutes having someone there for you?

They say you can do an exercise where you can write down your obituary or whatever. I think that would just be more depressing for me. I don't think I'd have anything to write. The only bad part of not being around would be that I would feel bad for my mom/dad...they'd be devestated. That's all. No great real loss...

I did check out the lonely forum here on PC - thanks for that suggestion.
I was seeing a therapist for a while - mental health counselor. I know I should probably call her. The last time I saw her was a month ago - she thought I was good enough to discontinue seeing her.

I know it's really sad to say, but I don't think anyone would really miss me.
(I think my parents friends would all show up in droves - if there were a funeral - to support them and my sister and her family, but it wouldn't have anything to do with me)

[doggiedo]

I'm sorry Rose. I know that has to be painful to feel.

[unaluna]

I need to get cracking on my last wishes. I don't want a funeral. I don't want people standing around talking about me and ESPECIALLY not saying how NATURAL I look! Or repeating my jokes, that would tick me off. idk I don't see the point. people aren't in my life now, why should they be then, ya know?

[Travelinglady]

I'm glad you don't think of yourself as actually "doggiedo"!

I really don't know my neighbors. My husband talks to them sometimes. Most all the people I know I have met through social organizations IRL. It takes effort, but as one T told me one time, "You're not going to meet people sitting at home watching TV"! So, I did manage to drag myself out. I met hubby at a singles' group.

I've also learned that to make friends you have to be a friend. Some folks here might find this statement hard to believe, but I used to be very shy. But I have gotten more self-confidence through therapy and through meeting some folks who actually seem to like me. (Of course, they have good taste! )

I honestly do think a few people would miss me. But they have had to get to know me first--to even be aware that I exist!

I do suggest that you tell your T some of the thoughts that have been running through your head and about how lonely you have been. I care, doggiedo!

[clouds_and_sun]

[[[[[[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]]]]]
you are not alone. I hope that things improve for you. I know how it feels as i don't know if am going to survive this loneliness, I have my one and only offline friend but she is hardly around (working).

[doggiedo]

Hang in there Clouds. You talking to anyone? What's making you so lonely?

Originally Posted by doggiedo

I'm sorry Rose. I know that has to be painful to feel.

Thanks DD Actually when I was super depressed and suffering, I asked my T (by chance, if anything should happen to me) if she would please go to my funeral so someone would say something NICE about me.

My family is ruthless.

But knowing there would be ONE person there to stand up to them (and stick up for me) makes a big difference for me... so I am OK.

(I sort of have come to terms with how horrible they are. especially in a bunch)

Re: loneliness. It’s awful to feel so alone & incredibly isolated (I believe that it's considered cruel and unusual punishment to do to us what we inflict on ourselves - in terms of being in solitary and isolation). But that is part of the Dx and working through all of it, so we feel safe enough to start reaching out (again).

WE can do this!

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( doggie ))))))))))))))

[Bmee2]

Well there is very little to add to what others have already posted.
i wonder all the time if i will be missed? Have i made a difference in this life time? Will anyone ever love me....all of me as i am? Need i continue.
Thus everyday i try to do something....to help someone else: allow another car to merge in front of me, say hello to strangers in the super market while waiting in line...or offer to help someone do something else. Call people who do not call me...this angers me but...i call anyway. i even play games that i do not enjoy just because my friend enjoys the game. i get special treats for my mother just because...trying to tell her i love her as often as i can.
Everyday is a chance to connect to someone if you have no one. Every little bit helps.

[CgRgSm]

I don't wonder. I already know. Very, very few people would miss me. Nothing would change and time would march on just as it always has. I haven't done anything at all with my life, I wouldn't expect anyone to miss me.