[Dos3512]

Depression alone is bad enough when people arent there for you. But y do i insist on pushing people away when i get depressed. Then i come on here for support instead. It makes no sense. Dont get me wrong the forums are great but it really isnt a support for real life support of family and friends. I struggle to stay awake much less go out ... maybe thats whhy i push people away? I dont know just some random thoughts.

[Leed]

I don't know ~ Maybe it's cause we don't want to be a "burden" to other people -- to be a downer. Maybe we don't want to put forth the effort to go out. Maybe it's too hard to put on a smile and pretend that everything is "ok" for others, when inside we're dying. If someone asks us "what's wrong" do we REALLY want to tell them? Heck no - it would ruin the whole evening, and they wouldn't really listen anyway.

So maybe that's why we push people away. You'd have to have one REAL friend - a friend for life, that would really care who would listen to you. I have one of those but we don't talk that often. She lives several states away -- I've known her since I was 4 yrs old and I'm 63 now!! LOL She knows everything about me, and I mean everything. And I know the same about her. She's the ONLY friend I have.

Just my thoughts. Hugs, Lee

[Dos3512]

Thanks Leed. I have one of those friends but she lives clear across the country.

[anjelmarie]

Originally Posted by Dos3512

Depression alone is bad enough when people arent there for you. But y do i insist on pushing people away when i get depressed. Then i come on here for support instead. It makes no sense. Dont get me wrong the forums are great but it really isnt a support for real life support of family and friends. I struggle to stay awake much less go out ... maybe thats whhy i push people away? I dont know just some random thoughts.

Withdrawing is a symptom of depression which i try to explain to people close to me so that they would understand why i do it. Alot of depressed people don't want to be around people and distance themselves from those that they love. We come on here because we know other people on here are going through simillar situations and can identify with us. Those in our life really can't and may not be supportive which can make us sad and distance ourselves even more. Maybe you can look for a support group in your area to go to if you feel you want to connect with people. Check on the NAMI website or just google depression support groups and type in your town and state. Good luck to you i hope things get better.

[regretful]

I have an opinion on why we come to these support forums...it is probably due to the fact that we feel more likely to find someone with a sympathetic ear/set of eyes...I come to that conclusion because of my own experience with it, limited as it is. I try to talk with my wife about my depression, but she cannot handle it. I certainly can't talk with my teen-aged son about it - dad is supposed to be all-powerful in his eyes still...I cannot talk with my family about it...they just don't understand. I can't go to therapy every day because that is too expensive...

Like Lee said, if you have one close friend who "gets it", then you can rely on that person. I'm fortunate enough to have a friend, but he's 3000 miles away. When we talk, it is great...

But there are other times when you just need to tell your story to someone who has only an imaginary picture of who you really are in their mind...you know, they've never met you. So maybe that is why we come to these forums. We reach out, and we connect. I know that I wait with quiet anticipation to see who has replied to my postings. I'm grateful when someone does. I'll probably never in a million years meet that person, but will always take solace in knowing that someone has cared, even if it was just for the time that they typed these words, and even if it was just for a minute.

So keep coming back to these, and perhaps one day you will be on the other side of depression - I was on the other side of it for most of my life (until very recently, but now have had about 3 years of depression on and off)...and from the other side you can still come back to these forums and lend support.

that's just my two-cents...

Best wishes to you...

[ifeelfailureoften]

Originally Posted by Dos3512

Depression alone is bad enough when people arent there for you. But y do i insist on pushing people away when i get depressed. Then i come on here for support instead. It makes no sense. Dont get me wrong the forums are great but it really isnt a support for real life support of family and friends. I struggle to stay awake much less go out ... maybe thats whhy i push people away? I dont know just some random thoughts.

Yes, you are right. Depression all by oneself is bad enough. It is normal to push people away when you are in a bad mood. Perhaps you are like me, more easier to feel anonymous and type on a computer than communicate your feelings in real life. Many people are like me, I tend to think. I don't see what's wrong with coming onto this site, why would they make this site if we weren't allowed to go on and do that, write on here and communicate with others. It should help us. Maybe not everybody even has a supportive family. So that would then make sense, right? Why would we be on here if we had family to go to? It's hard to trust people to say for those who are "friends" how do you trust them? I don't put much if any trust in other people I see around me in real life. Are you truly depressed if you can just easily go to your family or group of friends for support then come on here? That is what I personally don't get.