[doggiedo]

How do u know it's time to check yourself in to a hospital?

[Shadow-world]

Doggiedo, I'm not sure, but I think I came pretty close to it last year.
Usually, the doctors say that it is time when you start being a danger to yourself and / or others. Well, last year, especially over the summer, I had a lot of suicidal ideation. The doctor came pretty close to hospitalising me, but the problem is that the unit is close to my workplace and I would have known some people there so I refused and just carried on with things and just about made it without a suicide attempt.

Personally, I think the criteria should be wider. You shouldn't only be allowed to be admitted when you are suicidal or about to attack others but also when you're really really not feeling well at all. But I suppose, these days with the NHS (I live in the UK) in crisis, this doesn't happen. I believe I should have tried to admit myself last year and even possibly a few weeks ago and tried a proper recovery process as an inpatient.

Are you considering hospitalisation? Can your doctor advise? I'm not sure how the system works in the US, but would you also have to be referred by him or her? What are your options?

[jlmass]

You seem like you are feeling really bad by your resent posts so maybe you could talk to your Dr and see if some inpatient time would be a good way to get some help and support.

[doggiedo]

Maybe. I just don't want to live anymore. I do think of suicide. I feel more alone than ever. I don't even know how inpatient would help at this point. I am talking to my counselor tomorrow. She thinks I'm so put together...

My pdoc is on vacation. For another 2 weeks.

[AngelWolf3]

I would definitely be honest with your therapist. i agree that your recent posts seem very much like you might benefit from hospitalization. (I have only been on this particular area of PC for a few days here and there, but...)
I had to go inpatient once for depression; I had a lot of the same feelings you have been describing. I just don't remember how I ended up in the hospital exactly
I hope you decide to get help.

[doggiedo]

I am only talking to my mental health counselor, actually I think she's a social worker, tomorrow night after work. My therapist is on vacation. I dont know how she's going to be able to help me tomorrow night with the pdoc gone.

Originally Posted by doggiedo

Maybe. I just don't want to live anymore. I do think of suicide. I feel more alone than ever. I don't even know how inpatient would help at this point. I am talking to my counselor tomorrow. She thinks I'm so put together...

My pdoc is on vacation. For another 2 weeks.

((((DD)))) i am soo sorry you are hurting. Even though you feel like it, you are not alone. You have people that care about you and care about your safety and well being.

Can you ring the doctor that is on call, covering for your pdoc while pdoc is on vacation and explain how you are feeling, and it cannot wait.

Your meds are not helping and you need to go to hospital. Now.

In the meantime, until you check in, will you please make a safety pact with us that you will not hurt yourself?!!!

Check in with us...and let us know how you are doing. We care....a lot. Please keep us posted.

Hugs, your friend, Rose

[doggiedo]

I won't do anything tonight, I promote...I'm going to bed. Morning will be better, it's got to be.

((((Dd))))

[AngelWolf3]

Thinking of you this am. Just wondering how the night went...good luck at the counselor today...

[doggiedo]

I fell right to sleep - I was surprisingly exhausted.
Today I woke up with what I think is heat rash, a headache, and a load of problems to deal with at work.
At least I made it in.

See if I'm functioning and going to work then I think maybe I'm not as bad as I think?
idk.

((((DD)))) it's important to both honor the fact that you made it in today despite feeling so horrible (yay!) AND the fact that you felt you needed more help just yesterday (hug).

It can't hurt to leave word with Pdoc still (or counselor or T...) for a check in.

(*on a personal side note: the weekends are especially hard for me, because I am not working (distracted) and have to tend to all the personal things I need to catch up on from the workweek; which leaves little time for social interaction - which makes me feel a little sad)

Rose

[doggiedo]

My appt yesterday went well. My counselor validated a lot of my feelings. I actually didn't even cry bc maybe I was done crying, idk. I ended up leaving and feeling better than I have in a while....about everything, the break up, being alone. There is a lot we still need to work on, and I laid it all out on the table for her.

So we shall see. She said give the meds another week to work and see how I am. She did say if I'm feeling suicidal again to go directly to the ER. I have heard that many times the nurses in ERs brush suicidal patients off bc they don't understand them. Idk, I don't want to be treated like I'm stupid or I don't have all my marbles. I do! I'm just going through a tough time is all.

Anyhow, I'm doing better today. I have been eating better and feel a little better physically. Although I still not sleeping well, I am finding I am thankful for some things, like my dogs, their wet noses, etc. I want to enjoy life I just don't quite know how just yet or how to appreciate it. Anyhow, baby steps.

[AngelWolf3]

I am glad to hear that you have found some baby steps to take. Knowing that you do have some things to be thankful for is great!!!! I love my doggie's wet nose too...