[harleychic]

I am soooooo tired of trying to dig myself out of this rabbit hole. Nothing works and things only keep getting worse. I have heard the standard "Oh things will get better, they have to" or "Oh God has a plan for you". I say bull chit, I have been doing nothing but busting my azz trying to make lemonade out of lemons for 4yrs now and now even the lemons I have to work with are only the rotten ones. I feel like taking one of these rotten lemons out of the pile and throwing at the next person that tells me how things will get better when NOTHING ever changes no matter how hard I try.

[regretful]

Someone shared this with me a long time ago...I have found myself in the throes of depression, yet again, and today, I remembered this and thought I would share it with you. I hope that it helps.

Autobiography in Five Chapters

by Portia Nelson

Chapter One:

I walk down the street.
There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I’m lost.
I’m helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two:

I walk down the same street.
There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three:

I walk down the same street.
There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I fall in.
It’s a habit.
But my eyes are open.
It is my fault and I get out immediately.

Chapter Four:

I walk down the same street.
There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five:

I try walking down a different street.

[Rohag]

Three hurricanes (it was three, yes?), a depressed rural area, your own depression, ETC....

Where to invest what little strength you have left? Are you getting any really practical advice tailored to your situation at that community clinic/center?

[Leed]

Awww dear, sometimes it seems like there's a dark cloud hanging over our head perpetually.

Have you been diagnosed with depression? Perhaps you should talk with a therapist? I had to drive quite a distance to find one as I live in a rural area, but I was bound and determined to as I knew darned well there was something wrong with my head. Sure enough, I needed therapy -- and the therapist actually sent me to my doctor for an antidepressant after many sessions!

Why not see a therapist (if you're not already) . I'm sure you won't regret it. I never did.

I hope you begin to feel better soon! God bless. Hugs, Lee