[Hopefull]

Why does stress get me so bad? Why can't I stop crying almost daily?
Why can't I sleep? AAAAAAAAAAA! I hate my stupid annoying life. My appartment with no wash machine and dryer or bath tub. My crappy job. My overly nosey insurance company. My original T who didn't pre-certify. My compulsive need for hugs. My ex-boyfriend who calls me almost every night. AAA! My amazing ability to stick guilt to do with my great aunt's death in my black hole of denial (June '05). I still don't make what I did in 2003 until the lay-off. My cat was diagnosed with diabetes in Nov. 2004. I started school in August of 2004. I am working 30 hours a week and 6 credit hours of classes. Grandma's death (Jan. 06) which brought the guilt out all the way. My company selling itself. What's going to happen when the new company takes over? I make less and have to spend more. Don't forget that now I have a co-pay to talk to a T. My other grandma getting robed by her own grandson! I think I am getting my penalty for ranting--another headache. Oh well, I haven't had one today or did I? I think I might have had one at work.
Why does my boss try to order me to be a positive thinker? I gave myself a headache trying to be a positive thinker. I mean my inner T is back on line. But, it is not fully back up to full steam. I tried to do a reality test and couldn't hardly get if off the ground. I used to be good at perception shifts, correcting for negative thinking and reality testing. But, I can't hardly get if off the ground now. Am I depressed instead of just an adjustment disorder? I think it is just plain old depression since I have changed some "nos." to "yeses." But, I have chickened out of asking T. Why does stress get to me? What the heck took my inner T off-line? The guilt? It did overwhelm in an odd way when grandma's death forced me to stop sticking it back in my black hole of denial. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I wish I could sleep like this.

[(JD)]

(((hopeful)))) You ARE stressed

Sleep is so important (she says as she is awake at 3:23 am!)

You've had a so many things happen...I agree. Yes, I think you are depressed too over it all. Please do try and get back on track with countering your cognitive distortions...

I wish you could stop all those questions going on in your mind...that must be so fatiguing, depressing, stressing. Back to small steps. Can you try to thought block first? Maybe you aren't up to replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones, yet, but see if you can stop a bad thought.

I wish I could sleep like that too (((hugs)))

[patricia72]

I hear you... it can be depressing and frustrating...
I hope you are feeling better soon...
you are not alone, wishing you peace of mind,
Patricia