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| Vote for Peter and Betty |
   
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7 | 100.00% | |||
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| Voters: 7. You may not vote on this poll | ||||||
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#1
Apr 25, 2006, 08:28 PM
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I am at my wits end.I & my wife have her 21 yr old daughter whom just had a baby & her disrespectful jerk of a boyfriend.I had no say in either.The daughter came about 9 months ago then the boyfriend about 3 months ago.last night after an argument with him because every time I turn around he puts my dog outside.I finally had enough of it I told him to stop & that if I want him out I'll put him out.Iwas told that he doesn't want his daughter on a carpet where a dog has been.I told him it's my house & if he doesn't want to be around the dog then he can go to "his"room & close the door.He even tried to get me to fight him but I know how I am & it would have gotten out of control so I was the adult & just told him he doesn't know who he's messing with & walked away .When my wife came home from work I told her either he goes or I do & that I am tired of feeling like an unwanted guest in my own home.She told me that she does not want upset her daughter.I guess it's ok That I am on the brink of a nervous breakdown.I am tired of walking on eggshell and being resentful all thr time.It seems like my feelings usually get trumped by someone elses,I told her that I am going to leave because it's better to be alone & sane then together & miserable.I feel totally betrayed & abandoned and I must admit pretty pissed off.I feel like a grown man should have peace in his own house.Am I crazy & just being shelfish?I am scared about being alone again but like I said at least I won't be disrespected anymore & have a little peace.Sometimes enough is enough especially when one starts feeling suicidal over it.I guess I have to do what it takes to take care of my sanity.Anyfeedback appreciated.
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#2
Apr 25, 2006, 08:35 PM
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Snarfy - I didn't know how to vote for this. I don't think the answer is as black/white as that. I can only imagine how frustrated you are - it is very evident in your post, and I'm sorry you're feeling so taken advantage of and disrespected. It sounds as though family counseling would be really beneficial in your situation - have you tried that yet?
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thatsallicantypewithonehand |
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#3
Apr 25, 2006, 09:29 PM
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oops I think I miss voted. wonder if I can redo it?
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He who angers you controls you! |
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#4
Apr 25, 2006, 09:30 PM
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not unreasonable
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He who angers you controls you! |
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#5
Apr 25, 2006, 09:37 PM
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perhaps a family counselor can help the whole family. or maybe encouraging him to get his own home he has his own family now he should grow up and stop mooching off the family...just my 2 cents.
m~
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The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved; the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars. ~ Jack Kerouac |
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#6
Apr 26, 2006, 09:16 PM
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I think one has the right to be at peace in their own home. I know how hard it is to have someone living in your home that wants to cause trouble. It's not fun at all. I agree that they need to try to find a place of their own. They would probably be happier, also. Best of luck to you!
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"There are things we need to forget and forgive, Sometimes we have to try and shed the damage we don't need." Silverchair- All Across The World |
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#7
Apr 27, 2006, 09:54 PM
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Please take care of yourself.
The longer you allow him in your household, the harder it will be to have him leave...them... leave.... legally even. I hope you will be able to refrain from any physical fighting. The older adult is nearly always found at fault when it comes to the law in these matters. I know of someone who was egged on in his own home, and punched the unwelcomed step son (who didn't live there, and was an adult, who caused the problem..) and the step son sued and won against the home owner/adult. Make some rules...if you can have a sit down session with the whole family to do this, that might work. Write the rules and the consequences. That way everyone knows (and hopefully agrees or moves out.) TC.
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#8
Apr 27, 2006, 10:01 PM
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I'd get the boyfriend to get out or marry the mother of his own child and they can both move out..Your wife is way off here....IF you co-own the house..file for a divorce and put it up for sale the freeloading will end
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#9
Apr 27, 2006, 10:19 PM
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((((((((((((((snarfy)))))))))))))
I don't think you are being selfish at all. I agree with what the others have said. Time for him to find his own place since he now has a family to tend too. And so do you. BIG HUGS
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[b]If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.[b] -Catherine Aird  |
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#10
Apr 28, 2006, 05:31 AM
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Snarfy,
You have earned the right to set boundaries in your home. I don't understand where your wife is coming from - I don't know . . . . . Sorry, just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. SongBird
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 "It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.
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#11
Apr 28, 2006, 08:14 PM
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I think a family meeting is in order here. Firstly, your wife is supposed to support and respect you, however, as its her daughter and grand child its not easy.
What these two youngsters must take into consideration is that they are merely guests in YOUR home, give them a time limit on how long they can stay with you and stick to it!! The longer you leave it the more of a mess it becomes. Are they contributing financially at all?? If not, you are being taken advantage of!! The same has happened to me a couple of times and i vow never to let people come and stay again unless they are aware of the rules and regs!! All the very best. |
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#12
Apr 30, 2006, 11:14 AM
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People should respect YOUR home. If they could not and will not respect you....then they would have to make other arrangements.
Lilith
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#13
Apr 30, 2006, 12:51 PM
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i HAVE A VERY STRONG FEELING HERE sorry caps lock on. If we are together then its a we decicion. With my dog if someone placed him outside they may change places very fast. also if someone came into MY house they would have to go by the rules of the house. if you wife or girlfriend does not see then,for me it would be time to go and find a place where my dog an I can live. I had to deal with something like this in i think 93 or 94 I finally told them I do not want to hear why you can not I want to her how and what you are doing to acomplese this. Meracuously the next week they were able to get ther own place.
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as always ONE DAY AT A TIME |
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