[shortandcute]

i woke this morning with suicide already on my mind--i was already thinking of rite from the second i opened my eyes

[lynn P.]

(((shortandcute))) - if you feel in danger then its best to get admitted. Can you call your therapist if you have one? Has this happened before and what do you normally do? Best thing is to tell a professional, get help and be patient until the feelings pass. Also never act on the feelings. Here's a helpful link and I pray this passes soon:

http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm

[shortandcute]

I've thought about getting myself committed but i don't know how to explain that to my 16 year old daughter. She has already found out (by accident) about my suicidal tendencies and she has already told me that she will find another place to live if she founds out again.

[optimize990h]

Hang in there. keep posting. try the chat room. see if it helps. You are not alone.

[lynn P.]

That's not right of her to say IMO. Do you have a therapist? You're welcome to vent here and you never have to feel alone. Often if the patient can talk through their feelings they're less likely to act on them. Are they ideations or active urges? You have control over your health and treatment. I'm willing to listen.

Originally Posted by shortandcute

i woke this morning with suicide already on my mind--i was already thinking of rite from the second i opened my eyes

Please call your T. Or go to your local ER.

You are important, you matter, and you deserve to be treated and to FEEL Better. There is no reason for you to suffer.

Does your Significant Other know how you are feeling? Are there other adults in the home that you can share your concerns with? Or a trusted family member/friend?

You are not alone. We can relate and we care. Please don't worry about what others think or say if less than supportive- your health is the most important thing!

Hugs to you!

[optimize990h]

Originally Posted by optimize990h

Hang in there. keep posting. try the chat room. see if it helps. You are not alone.

Sorry LP!!! I guess I did not think very clearly when I posted that one! dperession score 65 for me around that time. I will do better next time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[misscath007]

I hope u were able to speak to someone...even calling a hotline can sometimes help. the important thing is not to sit on these feelings. let people know you are struggling and if the feelings for SU become excessive, then please go to the ER. Huggs and beee safe.

[eskielover]

I can understand how you are feeling.....I went through years like that.....& I can understand how your daughter feels because mine felt very much the same.....I was still living with my husband....at the time I didn't realize that he was part of why I felt the suicidal way I felt.....but my daughter needed to be out of the house & all the drama that was happening while I was constantly suicidal & constantly had the paramedics at the house.....she needed to have her life....senior in high school & trying to get through college......she wasn't a part of why I was feeling the way I was feeling & there was nothing she could have done to change how I felt either.....it was the best thing for my daughter to move out.

I have gotten through that horrible period of my life.....& my daughter & I now get along well.......& we both love & care for each other. I feel bad that I put her through those emotions but I also realize that I wasn't able to deal with the emotions that I was experiencing & if I had the therapy I have now, I may not have gotten to the point I did then......but it is what it was & we have both accepted that & put it in the past where it belongs....for me, it's a huge black hole....I am sure it's more than a black hole period of her life during that time.

Please get the help you need & if you can find a therapy group that does DBT....it's a wonderful place to start learning more about yourself & getting in touch with the emotions that cause the desire for the actions you are feeling.

[designer]

Been there and thought and planned it so many times - YET I SURVIVE - things change - tough times - incrediable tough times will also go - one time I looked at my two children and thought, what will happen to them, when I am gone - that thought woke me up to reality
No matter how bad things are right now - it can change !! Call someone and talk. If they r busy and wont listen, call someone else. You r important. Your daughter is only speaking out of hurt. She does love you very much. So be a fighter - fight. Find something to live for. Then take only 10-15 min at a time. Don't look at the whole day or it will mess u up. Get thru small amounts of time and then celebrate. Have some friends that when u call - they can talk. I have some that when I text 911 they know I need them NOW. You are not a mistake. You are here for a reason. You r loved by all of us that really undestand - it is a fight - if I can do it - you can do it !!

[designer]

I still live moment by moment. I still try NOT to look at a long period of time and what is expected of me - or I crash. Learn to celebrate little victories.

[shortandcute]

2

Rose--I do not have a significant other. my 24 year old lives with and he tries to understand but i dont want to put on himl

[Open Eyes]

(((shortandcute))),

Do you have a therapist you are working with? I looked at your profile and you have had some real struggles in your past, you need to make sure that you get the right therapy for all of that. This waking up feeling hopeless like this means that you really need help.

As far as your daughter is concerned, her reaction is because of her "fear" and lack of knowing how to handle this struggle you are having. You cannot allow your children to keep you from getting help. Actually, they need to see you reach out for help when you are struggling like this.

If you don't have a therapist and you are are feeling so low like this than a visit to the ER that will put the wheels in motion to help stabilize you and find an outpatient therapist that can help you with this.

The other concern I have is that you are at the age where you can also be going through hormonal changes that can make this feeling/struggle even more of a challenge. So you need to find help with this because there IS help out there for you.

You really need to reach out, don't try to sort this out on your own or think that you shouldn't because of what your children think or feel, they are not specialists and obviously do not understand that you really do need help.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

[Rose76]

Recurrent suicidal thinking can be a chronic problem. It still needs to be managed with the help of someone professional. Your 16 year old daughter will need to find another place to live, if you commit suicide. Getting yourself committed may not be what is called for. You are in a better position to know about that than I am. You definitely need to be talking about this with someone involved in your treatment. At the very least, call and make an appointment to see your primary care provider. Go for that appointment and admit that this kind of thinking comes into your mind. There is a reason. Nobody has to know why you are going to see your PCP. It probably isn't fair to put too much responsibility on a 16 years old daughter. I suspect that is what she is afraid of. Can you blame her?

You are important. And your fears and anxieties are real and are exceeding your coping skill. Get help. Also let us know how you are doing. We all care.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Recurrent suicidal thinking can be a chronic problem. It still needs to be managed with the help of someone professional. Your 16 year old daughter will need to find another place to live, if you commit suicide. Getting yourself committed may not be what is called for. You are in a better position to know about that than I am. You definitely need to be talking about this with someone involved in your treatment. At the very least, call and make an appointment to see your primary care provider. Go for that appointment and admit that this kind of thinking comes into your mind. There is a reason. Nobody has to know why you are going to see your PCP. It probably isn't fair to put too much responsibility on a 16 years old daughter. I suspect that is what she is afraid of. Can you blame her?

You are important. And your fears and anxieties are real and are exceeding your coping skill. Get help. Also let us know how you are doing. We all care.

I apologize for taking so long to respond to this. I am seeing a therapist on a regular basis and he is helping me to deal with my feelings of helplessness and feeling out of control. My PCP is also an osteopath, and he is helping me with my back and I am also seeing a really good chiropractor--so even that is making a big difference!

I finally allowed myself to start taking my meds. I still believe that it should be a last resort, but I was getting desperate. Even with the feelings of despair and suicide, I am a survivor, and there was still that part of me that wanted to live more than I wanted to die.

Thanx for all your input and God bless.