no matter how many angles i look at my life from, or how many times i tell myself things will get better, it just seems like the best way for me to go is not to be here on earth at all.

so much of my life so far has just been emptyness and pain, and i just don't think i can be bothered fighting anymore

was never really that important, and if i did leave it would make no odds to anyone

[Leed]

You know, so many people right now are going thru some really rough times. And it seems they've had some rough times in the past. No one knows why. But the old saying "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" really seems to be true.

Whether you know it or not, you really ARE a strong person. To have made it this far thru hard times HAS made you a strong person. Obviously you've had some hard times in the past and weathered it ok--- well, maybe not "ok" but you got thru it. Maybe it made you resentful and angry. Maybe it made you not want to try anymore, and that's the sad part. You HAVE to keep trying. You were put here for a reason -- not to just take up space. God put you here to do a job -- no one knows what that job is. You have to figure that out. It takes time -- sometimes years before you figure it out.

But you can't stop trying now. Why not get some counseling? I know you probably can't afford it so check with Social Services at their mental health department. They can possibly help you with that.

Please see about getting some counseling because I know you're depressed. I've been depressed for years, so I know what it's like. Please take care and let us know what happens, ok? God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

Originally Posted by Leed

You know, so many people right now are going thru some really rough times. And it seems they've had some rough times in the past. No one knows why. But the old saying "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" really seems to be true.

Whether you know it or not, you really ARE a strong person. To have made it this far thru hard times HAS made you a strong person. Obviously you've had some hard times in the past and weathered it ok--- well, maybe not "ok" but you got thru it. Maybe it made you resentful and angry. Maybe it made you not want to try anymore, and that's the sad part. You HAVE to keep trying. You were put here for a reason -- not to just take up space. God put you here to do a job -- no one knows what that job is. You have to figure that out. It takes time -- sometimes years before you figure it out.

But you can't stop trying now. Why not get some counseling? I know you probably can't afford it so check with Social Services at their mental health department. They can possibly help you with that.

Please see about getting some counseling because I know you're depressed. I've been depressed for years, so I know what it's like. Please take care and let us know what happens, ok? God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

i do have therapy on thursdays, but that never really helped much either.

well maybe it did to start off with, but now it just does not do anything for me.

think i'm beyond help

[here today]

I have a therapist who, with my permission, starting “pushing” against resistances I did not know were there, because the way things look with them in place has been all that my consciousness has been able to “see” for a long time. She was trying to get to me, I think, because I was not able to bring the feelings to her.

Now, instead of thinking I’m crap, I think the world is crap. Instead of being depressed, I’m angry. Not sure this is helping much!!!

Why would I WANT to be in a social world that looks down on me constantly. I don’t. The world ain’t going to change. Maybe I need to be “weird” and “different” and stop looking down on myself? I certainly can’t hang out with my relatives anymore, with such a dissonant point of view.

[missbelle]

No one is ever beyond help. Sometimes it just takes a little longer thats all. Besides we are all here on a journey and we are all at different places. I know you can do it...... I know some people hate quotes but this one really helped me when I needed it..."Don't give up before the miracle happens"