yeah....

i believe that my life is over

all these years of struggling have left me absolutely no where and with nothing and no one

can't even go to a colledge/ university without being taken out couple days later because of what a danger i'm causing to me and the people around me

my friendship circle is non existent, (bipolar made sure of that), i'm a massive over eater, and i'm just soooo done.

nothing that comes my way or nothing offered to me seems good enough anymore

want to just curl in to a little ball and vannish

somedays i feel i'm just existing, i'm not really living

[regretful]

I sincerely hope that it gets better for you. Perhaps you can start with some small confidence building steps that are in your control. For example, people sometimes begin to feel a bit better when they start on a better diet. I know that when I was first in the throes of depression I felt very similar to how you described the feelings above...So I started with some very basic exercise and began paying attention to my diet. I was able to lose over 50 pounds and, better yet, start to shake the depression.

Life events did bring depression back into my life, and it is still with me, but not as strongly as it was 2 months ago. I got back into the exercise and diet and am taking medication as prescribed. It does work. I'm hopeful for you shattered sanity. Positive thoughts, prayers and hugs to you.

[dailyhealing]

I hope things get better for you! I sense there must be some hope because you are still here posting, hoping to feel better at least? Have you tried a support group for people with MI? It is a place where you can at least be accepted for who you are. You may even be able to develop some friends there who understand what you are going through. I don't know anything about your situation and this may not be an option, but just thought I'd throw it out there. Thanks for posting!

Originally Posted by dailyhealing

I hope things get better for you! I sense there must be some hope because you are still here posting, hoping to feel better at least? Have you tried a support group for people with MI? It is a place where you can at least be accepted for who you are. You may even be able to develop some friends there who understand what you are going through. I don't know anything about your situation and this may not be an option, but just thought I'd throw it out there. Thanks for posting!

i really don't see anything getting better for me in the near future.

why am i still posting?

guess because i'm so tired of talking to myself and want a human to respond.

the MI group sounds great, though i get anxiety about leaving my own front door... i've not actually left my house for ages

[layla11]

Shattered sanity, how long have you been feeling this way? Have you gotten enough sleep or are you on med are you taking them. Its okay, you have us as friends. I really dont want any other friends outside of people who undersant me.. And you are worth alot in this world. You mean alot to me.

[dailyhealing]

Well, it sounds like getting out of the house to a support group may take a fair amount of work. However, maybe it's worth trying! If you are in the US, look up NAMI online (national alliance for mental illness). There are support groups sponsored by NAMI all over the country. I'm going tonight actually!

And I second the questions by layla11, are you on any medication? If you have long term debilitating depression then it's worth looking into. Thanks for posting.

Originally Posted by layla11

Shattered sanity, how long have you been feeling this way? Have you gotten enough sleep or are you on med are you taking them. Its okay, you have us as friends. I really dont want any other friends outside of people who undersant me.. And you are worth alot in this world. You mean alot to me.

how long have i been feeling this way... for as long as i can remember.

always felt depressed- and eventually led to my mental conditions

i can't sleep, too mujch in my head- and i've tried everything, sleeping pills, soft music, you name it, but i just can't sleep.

and, i'm on more meds than you can shake a stick at, but nothing in the world can help me now.

like i'm just going on for no apparent reason- just to suffer

[layla11]

Hi Shattered Sanity, I will share some of my thoughts. They put me on Trazadone and that seemed to help me. Please let your doc know how you are feeling is important. I couldnt sleep either and still have problems with it. Just want to say you are not alone and to keep fighting this. Back to sleep, it caused me all kinds of problems just about everything didnt work with me. I did have a sleep study and found out I have sleep apnea, after getting my machine still couldnt sleep. My husband is sick and I think had taken its toll on me. Anyway, things got pretty bad, like how your feeling. I can tell you it will get better. I would contact doc about sleeping. And talk about your problems here.
Your friend.

[layla11]

Shatterd Sanity, just remembered something else I do. I try to help some of the people online here. It helps with my thinking and my mind has a little something else to think about. I am on line here alot. It is helping me. I m not working right now, but getting ready to go back to work. Kinda scared about it. Anyway your friend Layla,

I must say, that i have always felt very alone.
i got a new PC recently,
then i found this place
always thought i was the only one who felt the way i do.
as i know no one like me, except my brothers depression.

i feel i am constantly revolving around in a swarm of a clouded circle,
then i come here to Phc-Ctrl and i begin to see sad faces appearing
in this clouded circle.
not being alone then, i feel a bit more mellow.

thats just what i feel.

S.S. > hope tommorow brings you more light to your cloudy day

Originally Posted by layla11

Hi Shattered Sanity, I will share some of my thoughts. They put me on Trazadone and that seemed to help me. Please let your doc know how you are feeling is important. I couldnt sleep either and still have problems with it. Just want to say you are not alone and to keep fighting this. Back to sleep, it caused me all kinds of problems just about everything didnt work with me. I did have a sleep study and found out I have sleep apnea, after getting my machine still couldnt sleep. My husband is sick and I think had taken its toll on me. Anyway, things got pretty bad, like how your feeling. I can tell you it will get better. I would contact doc about sleeping. And talk about your problems here.
Your friend.

i've been on a bp low since friday.

and hope it will clear soon... it really eats away at you when it's at it's worst- as i just explained in another thread

also explains my lack of postings lately- just not felt like posting much