[jelly-bean]

I have been accused of living in my head and it's true. I find it's safe in my head. Nobody insults, yells, name calls or accuses me of anything. I like the person that I am in there. Nobody around me likes it though. I am forever getting fussed at about joining life,noticing things around me and participating in things with others. I suppose they are right about coming out of my head but when I do I get corrected or yelled at to the point of tears and then I get yelled at for that. I used to be able to fight back but I guess I've just been worn out and I can't and don't want to do that anymore. I just go back into my head to avoid life. Right now, though, I have a headache and I don't want to go there either.

[tigerlily84]

Depression is a horrible state of mind to be in, because it cuts us off from the outside world; which is where help can be found. The yelling is their way of trying to get you to "snap out of it." Anyone that has never been depressed simply cannot understand what you are going through. I remember that a friend asked me once why I wouldn't just be happy. As if I hadn't wondered that myself! In their own way, they are trying to help you, however misguided their methods may be.

Tell them that you don't need to be yelled at or called names. You are a good person and you don't deserve that. If they are really your friends they should understand that. Free to message or PM me if you need to talk.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by jelly-bean

I suppose they are right about coming out of my head but when I do I get corrected or yelled at to the point of tears and then I get yelled at for that.

Those who have appointed themselves your life-coaches may be more concerned with nurturing their own identities at your expense than they are in your growth and healing.

Wishing you what you need to grow without being a servant of others' egos.

[jelly-bean]

Thank You Rohag. It's odd, we have all been to PSI seminars but they have gone further than I have. They claim I have forgotten all that I learned but I'm thinking that maybe I'm not the only one that needs refresher courses. I am a victim of verbal abuse ( not by them) and they know that. For them to say some of the things they do while "helping" me just seems to reinforce what has already been done. Anyway, I sort of wandered off there. I just wanted to thank you for replying to me.

"JellyB", fighting back only makes them feel that there are more things wrong with you. Being with other people makes me more lonely than when I'm alone. But the ghost just haunt me there, although I can deal with them better. I get mad too when I get told to get out and do something. Ohhhh...how I wish it was just that simple. Atleast we're safe in our heads when we need somewhere to be.

[ifeeltheweight]

I don't know who these people are that you referred to, but it sounds like they need to be put in their place. It's one thing to be misguided and another to be inconsiderate of your experience with verbal abuse. Personally, I think you need to sit these people down and explain that you will not tolerate it anymore. How you do that is up to you. But you have to take charge of that situation. If your young and it's your parents doing this, then you may need to seek a mediator to help bring the point home. It's different when living in someone else's home.

[Leed]

Hi Jellybean ! Anyone who has been a victim of verbal abuse DOES tend to live in their head as a means to escape the abuse. People who have never been abused like that don't have a clue what it's like. I know all about that, as I was married to an abuser for many many years, and I lived totally within my head until it became a bad neighborhood and I had to stay out of it.

That seems to be the only place of refuge for victims of verbal abuse. There's no other place to go when you're being yelled at and called names, and accused of things you never did. So while the person is yelling, you retreat to your mind so you can't hear them. They can yell for hours on end, but you just cannot hear them. That's the way it was for me,anyway.

But there comes a time when you HAVE to come out --- you have to stopo living there because society is there -- and in order to live in society, you have to give up your "retreat" and live in the REAL world. That means either getting away from the abuser or learning how to listen when you're with society and acting normal, and then going back into your "retreat" when you go back to your abuser. For me, I left my abuser for GOOD and stay outside of my mind for good. I no longer went into my mind, as it just wasn't a good place to be anymore.

I also went into therapy(that was years beore) but it really worked with a new therapist. Many other therapist just didn't work for me. This one really 'clicked" and we made great progress.

I wish you the very best JellyBean. Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Tony50]

I agree, unless you've experienced it, you just don't know what it's like. Interestingly when you're out of it, you wonder why it wasn't easier to,get out of it, no wonder people who haven't experienced it think the way they do

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD

[jelly-bean]

Thank You Leed and Tony! There don't seem to be many victims of verbal and emotional abuse here even on the forum that is for abuse so I don't know where to go with that problem but I'm grateful there are others here who understand. I just wish you hadn't had to come by that knowledge the hard way.