[alone in the world]

Up at 5am without a purpose. tried online games but not working so took what I shouldn't to go back to sleep. np plans as the kid has company. would be nice if I got up and made them breakfast but no energy for that just another day to hide out in the bed. I did start a vo;unteer job so that occupies 6 hours on Monday the rest of the week is empty as I have cancelled my appt with my T for financial reasons will have to reach out to the community progrrams for support. Just another week to wallow in my self pity.

[Leed]

Hi and I'm GLAD YOU'RE HERE! You can talk to us all you want. We know what you're talking about as we've been there.

If you can't see your therapist, can you at least see your medical doctor and get on an antidepressant? He could give you some samples, I'm sure! Please don't say you dont' want to take "drugs." Medications can save lives -- and they can make life worth living again! They saved MY life. I didn't want to live anymore and I did have thoughts of ending my life.

I've been depressed since I was a small child and I'm now 63. So as you can see I've been depressed for MANY years! Both my parents were alcoholics who fought physically many nights of the week. They paid NO attention to us 4 girls. NONE whatsoever, and I have NO idea why they had children. 2 of us were planned, and 2 of us were mistakes. Nice to know isn't it that you're a mistake?

I got treatment in my 20's and I've been on antidepressants ever since. I also have been in therapy off and on most of my adult life. I have since "graduated." LOL

Please ask your medical doctor about antidepressants. You WILL feel "normal" again, whatever that is. LOL But life will be more fulfilling and more of a joy to live. Please call him. God bless you and take care. Hugs, Lee

[jelly-bean]

Well, I think you have come to the right place. The one thing you can be sure of is that you are never alone when you can come here. Please see if your state has financial assistance programs for medical problems whether physical or psychological. You really should to see a doctor and get some sort of help.

[Kingsley85]

Some hospital networks have charity programs where you can see a therapist and psychiatrist for free or on a sliding scale depending on your finances. There was a program like this at the hospital where I see my psychiatrist. You might also want to apply for Medicaid. If your not working and don't have income or substantial savings you are probably eligible. I have Medicaid, it's the best insurance I have ever had. Lastly you could try contacting a university and see if you can meet with a graduate student studying psychology, they might have a free or sliding scale program. If you have the energy to do any of these things I think applying for Medicaid would be the easiest and fastest course. You can see if your eligible or not so you can consider other options worse case scenario.

If your up late at night again it might be better to not do something that activates your brain like playing video games or watching tv. Listening to some relaxing/meditative music or eating a bowl of cereal without any distractions work for me.

If you really can't get help you might try getting some self help books for depression. It's kind of written therapy, I've found these to be helpful for myself.

Hang in there. If you have ever had one good day you know that change is possible.

[alone in the world]

Originally Posted by Kingsley85

Some hospital networks have charity programs where you can see a therapist and psychiatrist for free or on a sliding scale depending on your finances. There was a program like this at the hospital where I see my psychiatrist. You might also want to apply for Medicaid. If your not working and don't have income or substantial savings you are probably eligible. I have Medicaid, it's the best insurance I have ever had. Lastly you could try contacting a university and see if you can meet with a graduate student studying psychology, they might have a free or sliding scale program. If you have the energy to do any of these things I think applying for Medicaid would be the easiest and fastest course. You can see if your eligible or not so you can consider other options worse case scenario.

If your up late at night again it might be better to not do something that activates your brain like playing video games or watching tv. Listening to some relaxing/meditative music or eating a bowl of cereal without any distractions work for me.

If you really can't get help you might try getting some self help books for depression. It's kind of written therapy, I've found these to be helpful for myself.

Hang in there. If you have ever had one good day you know that change is possible.

I have medicaid also and a great therapist and psychiatrist. I just don't want to be abother to her. can't focus enough to meditate or do grounding exercises. just lost.

[alone in the world]

Originally Posted by Leed

Hi and I'm GLAD YOU'RE HERE! You can talk to us all you want. We know what you're talking about as we've been there.

If you can't see your therapist, can you at least see your medical doctor and get on an antidepressant? He could give you some samples, I'm sure! Please don't say you dont' want to take "drugs." Medications can save lives -- and they can make life worth living again! They saved MY life. I didn't want to live anymore and I did have thoughts of ending my life.

I've been depressed since I was a small child and I'm now 63. So as you can see I've been depressed for MANY years! Both my parents were alcoholics who fought physically many nights of the week. They paid NO attention to us 4 girls. NONE whatsoever, and I have NO idea why they had children. 2 of us were planned, and 2 of us were mistakes. Nice to know isn't it that you're a mistake?

I got treatment in my 20's and I've been on antidepressants ever since. I also have been in therapy off and on most of my adult life. I have since "graduated." LOL

Please ask your medical doctor about antidepressants. You WILL feel "normal" again, whatever that is. LOL But life will be more fulfilling and more of a joy to live. Please call him. God bless you and take care. Hugs, Lee

I am on two meds right now and I know they work just in the process of starting them again since I stopped. I attend therapy normally once a week but my finances are funny this month so I can't see her even at tha reduced rate.

[Kingsley85]

I don't think you would be bothering your therapist. She wouldn't have become one if she didn't want to help people. I see my therapist twice a week and I call her when I need to and she doesn't seem annoyed. Make sure you keep taking your meds a doctor told me that stopping them can not only make you more depressed but can also reduce the effectiveness of the medication for future use. A psychiatric nurse told me the number one reason for depression relapse is people stop taking their meds. I'm not trying to make you feel bad I just want you to know what I have been told. You might want to check social services about your providers, I don't pay anything for my therapy, doctor visits, and medication. Maybe we don't have the same thing or maybe your providers arnt in network? I'm not sure, maybe there is a state by state difference, I live in PA.