[carebirdy]

Part of my plan with trying to overcome my depression is not to isolate, which means allowing more people in my life. One person I've befriended over the past few month seems nice, but she seems to work in either intentional or thoughtlessly cruel comments. I'm having problems on the employment and money front. She shared with me that other people she has told about me but don't know me (guess she has been talking about me?) all think I should be able to get a well paying job easily with my qualifications and education and I'm probably just too picky. I don't know why she said this and it really hurt me. I'm actually doing better than many people I graduated with on the job front. Many of taken waitressing jobs or have moved in with their parents. I have a friend who I graduated with who can't even bear to job search in our field because it is so demoralizing.

I don't know why the comment stung but when I said that I think the people she has been talking to don't know me or the situation accurately she said, "Oh, is your situation so unique?"
I try to brush things off buy this is staying with me. How can I let this go?

[depressedalaskan]

(((carebirdy))) Not sure if this will help or if you feel strong enough. I too suffure from depression. I have been sick for many years. I have been trying to explain my illness to people around me. Some understand, some do not. Those that understand are a lot easier to be around. This helps my isolation. How ever you deal with this I wish you all the luck in the world.

[Leed]

Are you sure this is a 'good friend?' ARe you sure she is on your side? I'm not sure. It seems to me that she's jealous of you and she's' bound and determined to let you know it! Personally if I was trying to heal from depression (if anyone really can ) I would stay away from this woman. She seems pretty toxic to me. Maybe toxic is a harsh word, but she sure isn't a positive influence on a depressed person! I would not hang around her anymore. But that's just me -- maybe I'm too thin skinned. But I'd want someone who's on my side, and pushing me on towards what I want to do -- not kicking my feet out from under me.

See if youi can't fiind someone more positive to be friends with. I'm sure you can -- you're too nice a person to be alone. Tell this one to go haunt a house or something; LOL Hugs, Lee

[Rachel.i]

I don't know, this person sounds pretty passive-aggressive to me. It's true that it's not good to isolate in depression, but I can't help but wonder if a person like this could do more harm than good.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Leed

But that's just me -- maybe I'm too thin skinned.

No Lee....It's not just you. So important to choose carefully the people we allow into our inner lives when we're already struggling to do battle with the demon ~depression. Thanks for the wise words......

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Rachel.i

I don't know, this person sounds pretty passive-aggressive to me. It's true that it's not good to isolate in depression, but I can't help but wonder if a person like this could do more harm than good.

Wise words Rachel .....

[whimsygirl]

Hi carebirdy.....Just adding my 2 cents, as I agree with the other posters' thoughts. I would definitely be hurt by this person's words, and it would make me wonder about her true intentions. One thing I've learned....and it's been a long, painful lesson.....is to listen to my heart when someone is showing ~"telling me" me who they are, and it's just not feeling right. I have made the mistake many times of ignoring these signs, because I just don't want to see them.....and it has never ended well for me. You ~we all deserve to be cared about in a sincere way. Just be careful with your . Hugs ~whimsy

Hi ((((Carebirdy)))), That is a great plan I struggle with depression, and it's really hard some times to overcome the isolation.

I echo the other members sentiments. It sounds as if this person may not be very good friend material. I would back away graciously and focus on people that are more supportive, trustworthy, positive, genuine and encouraging.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing

[carebirdy]

Thanks for the feedback. I'm not a vanilla personality so it can be difficult to find friends. I thought over the situation again and I think she was reacting because I told her I had not had as difficult a time with a work supervisor as she has. The sad part is she baited me into saying it.
I think it's a good idea to put some distance between her and I. I'm a low drama person and I don't want any conflict. I think this is just a symptom of problems she has. I'll keep posting. I'll let you guys know how things are going. It's been a tough year.

[jelly-bean]

The others said it all for me. I just wanted to wish you luck in your job search and in your search for REAL friends.