[whenwillitend]

Where do I start. Well, my husband had a job as an over the road truckdriver. He was gone for two months. I was doing great, despite our financial difficulties, I was coping fine, everything was calm and peaceful at home.

Now he is home and unemployed and driving me crazy. Home is like a combat zone now.

Now I feel lonely, useless, frustrated, LONELY.
I've been having very ugly dreams every night. And it's really getting me down.

So now I'm deeply depressed again. I just feel like life would go on just fine without me. Nobody would even notice I'm gone. Except for my kids. It's like I don't exist already. I'm invisible.

I am so lonely.

[CloudyDay99]

Hi whenwillitend. I'm sorry you are going through so much pain right now. I often find I feel the loneliest when I'm in the company of others, especially if they are going through hard times themselves. People are often at their worst during these emotional periods and the situation can be so draining, it's not surprising that people lose hope the situation will change. I find I do best and can think more objectively if I get away a bit and go for a walk.

I hope you can find some breathing room to remember the good things in your life. Best wishes for you in this difficult time.

[whenwillitend]

I just wish someone would care. Nobody cares about me, not even my husband. I'm all alone here, and I can't take it anymore.

[Tsuki632]

Originally Posted by whenwillitend

I just wish someone would care. Nobody cares about me, not even my husband. I'm all alone here, and I can't take it anymore.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now.

You're not alone here. I've found there is always someone to listen here.

Is volunteering somewhere like a nursing home or shelter possible? I'm sure you would feel engaged, less lonely and most of all appreciated.

I wish you strength.

[Leed]

Dearheart, someone DOES care -- WE do. You can always come here and talk to us. I know it's not the same as having someone face-to-face but it's better than nothing. LOL

Sweetie, I'd like you to make an appointment with your medical doctor. I know you said you were having financial deifficulties, but just a doctor visit wont' break you. I want you to talk to him about depression and how you're feeling. Tell him everyhing. See what he says & thinks. He MIGHT put you on some medications -- ask him for samples if he does, siince they might be expensive. Therapy would be better for you, but that would be VERY expensive, and I know you can't afford that.

So give your doc a call and tell them you need to see him ASAP. God bless you sweetie, and PLEASE let us know what happens will you??? I'd REALLY like to know. Take care hon. Hugs, Lee

[whenwillitend]

I am on medication, and I have a therapist too. She is great and just keeps a tab and lets me pay what I can, when I can. I get my meds for free because we are retired military.

I have no friends, noone here that I could turn to. My husband doesn't care anymore. I just feel so worthless and useless. I had a job that I absolutely loved, but I had to quit because we were paying too much for childcare. I miss that job so much. Now nobody needs me anymore.

[whenwillitend]

I am so done.

[Tsuki632]

I'm sorry you feel like that right now. you are definitely not worthless and useless.

[Leed]

You sound so terribly depressed! Can't you talk to the doctor and have him adjust your medication?? It sounds like it just might not be working like it should be. There are many times we have to have our med dosage adjusted OR CHANGED COMPLETELY. I've had to have my doctor changed my medication because I became almost "immune" to the medication. I'd been on it too long, and it just quit working. So he put me on something else which DID work.

Talk with your doc, ok? It can't hurt. God bless you and I pray you begin to feel better. Hugs, Lee

[Tsuki632]

What Lee said! I usually have to change medications every couple of years.

Tibetan prayer flags are used to send wishes out on the wind. Consider my wishes for strength, healing, and renewing energy sent your way.

[Kingsley85]

You might consider going into the hospital if you feel unsafe. It might not seem like it but I'm sure your family would miss you if you were gone. When we are depressed we see a skewed version of reality.

[whenwillitend]

Thank you all.

I'm not going to go into detail, but I did end up attempting suicide last Sunday. I just got home from the hospital earlier today.

Right now I mainly feel tired, exhausted, and it feels weird to be home again.