I can't move. I am serious I can't function. I'm sat in my room and it feels like the world has caved in around me. I feel like I'm suffocation I can't breathe and I cant stop crying. I squeeze myself tightly but get no comfort its like I'm trying to squeeze all the badness away. It's like I've hit the wall. It was all okay I was fine acting like it was nothing and hoping it would jut go away, I bottled it all up. Now I've just reached a point where it has overwhelmed me. I feel sick I am so sad. I feel so so cold and I can't get warm. I just want to curl up in bed and die. Why has it had to come back so full on? Why me? All the stuff I was told to do when I was having cbt up until I was fine again in March April time, none of it works, the breathing exercises, the being active, the memory box, it just makes me feel worse! I dont wsnt to eat it's just forced, I feel exhausted bit my sleep is interrupted. I just feel like sitting here doing nothing until I die. I just want my family and friends to care. I have noone I can just go to and speak to. My parents are awful about it, I think the memories are too painful from before they don't want anything to do with it. I just want them to hug me, want anyone in the whole world to hug me but noone will because nobody understands. I have never felt so alone and bad before. I don't think I will be able to get up in the morning or go to work the next day. I can't move. What should I do?

[Leed]

Oh Jess, bless your heart. I know what it is to feel so alone with no one to talk to because no one understands. I don't understand how family can be so cold and uncaring. That really makes me MAD.

Jess, this is the weekend, but if you think you can wait it out until Monday, call your medical doctor and tell him what's going on. (Tell the office girl you need to get in to see him on an emergency basis NOW) But tell the doc everything that's going on. He'll put you in contact with a therapist on an emergency basis and probably get you in very soon.

If you go to the ER, they might put you in the mental ward. Is that what you want? Do you think you need that? You know how "sick" you are. Perhaps that's what you need. I really don't know.

I wish you the best Jess. My heart goes out to you cause I know what you're goiing thru. It's just awful. I'm with you in spirit my friend. God bless and keep me posted, will you? Big hugs, Lee

[Rohag]

Hello, Jess95!

Originally Posted by Jess95

Why has it had to come back so full on?

What I keep reading and hearing is that having a depressive episode doesn't guarantee you'll have another, but it does increase the chance of relapse.

Originally Posted by Jess95

I don't think I will be able to get up in the morning or go to work the next day.

As far as possible, live the current five or ten minutes; try not to live tonight or tomorrow before they arrive.

Originally Posted by Jess95

...I feel exhausted...my sleep is interrupted.

When you next speak with your doctor, along with the severe depression stress the sleep problem. Sleep is critical.

I probably haven't mentioned anything you haven't heard before. How I wish we -- all the people who've read your post -- could send you a powerful sense that you have been noticed, that your pain has been recognized, and that your struggle is in some way felt by us.