[mud_blood]

Since last week when I found out that all of my hopes and dreams of returning to school and making a better future for my family and myself I have been extremely depressed. I feel like I have nothing left to give, I can barely pay my bills on the paltry disability check that I get from my employer and my wife is beginning to crack under the stress that I am putting on her. I have looked into getting a different job but everything that I find I feel that I am not qualified to do, my self-doubt is at an all time high because of this. I feel like there is no one that I can talk to, I don't feel that I am worth anyone's time to sit and listen to my issues.

We're listening All you need to do is keep your hope alive and hang in there until things get better. Not easy but possible.
Wishing you well

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by mud_blood

I feel like there is no one that I can talk to, I don't feel that I am worth anyone's time to sit and listen to my issues.

Hello mud_blood.....I am so sorry about how much you're hurting these days. From all you have said it is certainly understandable that you would be feeling discouraged, and it is always hard when someone else (like your wife) is involved. As someone who has suffered from depression for a very long time I understand that when you are in a very dark place it can be hard to even hear what someone is saying, but I wanted to try anyway. First of all, how wonderful that you have the dream of improving the future of your family.....obviously you are a good person. And while the way you had planned may not work out, there are probably other paths that may open to you in the future. Sometimes it is true that "when a door closes, somewhere a window opens".....but we aren't always able to see that possibility, especially when the voice of depression is talking. Please understand I'm not making light of your situation....just saying that you are probably not able to see perspective at this time, but that may change with time. As for having people to talk to, as George said, we are here and listening, and caring. And in case you've never thought of this, the National Suicide Prevention Line is a wonderful resource for anyone who needs ~wants to talk. A lot of people may not realize that they are there not just for people who are suicidal, but for anyone who may be struggling in life.....whatever is going on. When you call them your call is routed to trained counselors in your area who are there to listen, and provide you with resources to follow up with counselors, etc, if that's what you want. They're good people, and sometimes just talking to someone kind can help you in ways you might not expect. Just in case you ever want to give them a call, here's a link http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ And in the meantime I hope you'll keep in touch with us here whenever you want ~need to. Take Care ~whimsy

[Leed]

Of COURSE you're worth someone's time! Are you kidding? You're a good man! You're trying your best to support your wife -- but you know maybe your wife should try a little harder to support you! Sometimes the womam has to step up and try harder. It's supposed to be a 50/50 partnership when you marry, not a 80/20 with the man doing all the work. Is your wife working? If she is, perhaps SHE needs to get a different job that helps more. If you're on disability, there must be a reason. Don't risk your own health.

Ask you wife to perhaps step up. If she can't do it, then check into social services about help, such as food stamps, etc. There is NO SHAME in asking for help when you need ir! The economy in this country stinks and the next president better do something about it and FAST. Cause our country is going to the dogs! God bless and please take care! Hugs, Lee