depression and anexity getting in the way

hello all. I hope everyone is doing ok. i had a question to ask you guys. I am getting married in about a month to the love of my life. we have been together for just about 3 years. i love her inside and out and i would love to have the wedding tomorrow if i could. Two days ago i had a thought that made me sad. Now for those who dont know most of my thoughts involve me being a bad person and losing my fiance. that has always been my trigger. once in a while i would have a thought where i would be about if she was the one or not..but i knew it was just a thought, as it went against my true feelings. this is no different but i wanted to know if this has ever happened to any of you. have you guys ever had your anxiety or depression get in the way of your relationship? how did it make you feel? also too.if you dont always take your meds everyday and skip days, does that change the way you think

Well, I'm not a guy, but I think what you're talking about is pre=wedding jitters. Everyone who is about to get married gets them. You're wondering if she is really "the one" and whether you're making a mistake or not. Everyone gets that. You're NOt making a mistake if she's the love of your life. You're just scared. It's normal.

And I've been on antidepressants for probably 40 years, and there have been times that I've forgotten to take them -- and yes, I do think differently. My depression gets worse, and then my anxiety worsens, and that by itself makes me think differently. So now I NEVER forget my meds. I just don't want to go thru that torture anymroe. It's just miserable!

So best of luck on your wedding day! I'm sure you two will be VERY HAPPY. Congratulations! And keep posting too, okay? Hugs, Lee

Thank you very much. Yes she is the love of my life. My best friend. Thats why it hurts so much when i have these thoughts. I know you really cant help it, but it still makes me mad. I am so happy to be getting married. A part of me is nervous like you said. And most is the depression/anxiety. I know we will be fine tho. Has depression played a role in your relationship?

Yeah I used to get these kind of thoughts, just don't let it take over, you two are obviously made for one another, so just block them thoughts and try and think on something else I know it's easier said than done but try to distrsct your mind.

what type of thoughts did you used to get?

In answer to your queston if depression played a role in my relationship -- well, when my husband was alive, no it didn't. When I was with him I felt wonderful! I was on medication of course, but everything was perfect when we were together. We did everything together, and we thought almost the same thoughts! We even finished each others sentences! I adored him, and I can't remember a day when I was depressed with him. But since he's been gone (11 yrs) I'm depressed most of the time.

Hello jfrombk,

I completely understand what you're feeling. My husband and I recently got married (this past June) and I had all those feelings. Heck, i've had them on and off for a good portion of our relationship. But it always came down to, I love him, I KNOW I love him even if I can't feel it at this precise moment. When I'm depressed, I don't feel much of anything, especially not positive things. Eventually, it swings back the other way, and I'm filled with intense love for him, it feels like I'm about to explode. I think the majority of the time is spent some where in a content middle ground. I used to feel intense guilt and shame when I couldn't feel things until I finally told my husband. He said he understood, at has even felt the same way at times when he gets depressed (he wasn't diagnosed, just going through situational depression).

Keep thinking positive, keep looking forward to your wedding, and remind yourself of all the things you love about your fiancee. Tell her you love her. Make her something or buy her something to take your mind off worrying about depression getting in the way. I know it's easier said than done, but don't let it get in the way. Do everything you can to keep the focus on positive, loving feelings.

Take care and congratulations!!

I have not experienced this in long term relationships, but I have had a relationship crash and burn because of anxiety.

Just don't let your worries change who you are. If you love him/her, all you can do is love him/her and act in the ways love compels you to act. It is good that you want to be good to your fiance but you cannot get caught up thinking you are not good enough or worrying about being perfect. You can only be yourself, a glorious imperfect loving person. That's also who you're marrying, by the way

I am so sorry to hear that. Do you have any friends or family that u can go to

Thanks very much. Yea your right and i realize that. I would not dear let such a beautiful person walk out of My life. How r u guys doing Now

Thanks very much. Your absolutely right

Right now, we're doing very well

i am glad to hear that!