Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Oct 10, 2012, 08:18 AM
Fresia's Avatar
Fresia Fresia is offline
Wandering soul
 
Member Since: Apr 2010
Location: Off yonder
Posts: 6,019
After all these years, I would have hoped by now that I would have recognized the signs of depression but it has sneaked up on me full force. To the point where I am not functioning, my grades have fallen, I am sleeping a lot, barely eating, crying all the time, bad thoughts, and hardly leaving the house. Thankfully I had a pdoc appointment to catch it. I am so afraid of this nothingness of an existence that has become me again, losing myself, losing my spot in my school program as it requires B's to continue to the last semester, and in failing out and getting swallowed up. The weird part is that I do care about it because I know I should, and yet at the same time I just don't care, part of me is just so tired that none of this downward spiral matters; and yet I am angry at myself for not seeing the signs and symptoms in the first place.

Meds are being changed but I know it will take some time, yet if I imagine what hope might be, I know the meds will help change things as the new levels come up; right now I just know this logically, it just feels like an empty promise. I guess I need to go on faith right now and just keep trying. I scheduled an appointment with T, and will be keeping it meanwhile even though I don't want to leave the house; I will. I am supposed to call pdoc each week until next month when see him again; he said if he didn't hear from me, he would be calling so to make a point of it. So I am not tackling this alone. But I now hate that I am causing such a fuss for them all. If I had just paid attention sooner, but I can't change that fact, so will just have to deal with things as they are now. I have to remind myself until I can believe it that it will get better, oh, please, it has to.

Thank you in advance for listening to me vent. Such at wits end and needed to get this out. Tears again, gotta go. Thanks again for listening, and hope this finds you well.
__________________

I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it. -M.Angelou
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. -Anaïs Nin.
It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view.
-Dalai Lama XIV
Hugs from:
kindachaotic, Rohag, Shadow-world, Snowy83, TerryL

advertisement
  #2  
Old Oct 10, 2012, 12:20 PM
kindachaotic's Avatar
kindachaotic kindachaotic is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: Southeast US
Posts: 1,834
Oh sweet Fresia, all kinds of things can sneak up on us.
Life in general, our illness, but nothing you did wrong or need to fault yourself with.
You have realized the need for change, taken action with T & pdoc.
This is their job, not like you are imposing on a friend or relative.
This & med change will hopefully help you get up, & out of house more, keep your grades up.
Those are Hugh things to accomplish.
Be proud of yourself & take some credit for this.
I know you can do this, you do walk in Faith, you are not alone.
Please vent & get this off your chest & keep us posted.
I'm not in this forum much but will check more often.
PM anytime, my VM's are back up now also.
Take care of yourself.
Thanks for this!
Fresia
  #3  
Old Oct 10, 2012, 03:17 PM
Leed's Avatar
Leed Leed is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
Dearest Fresia ~ Depression is such a cruel illness. It's so sneaky too, because when we think things are going "ok" and staying at an even keel, all of a sudden we realize that we are incredibly depressed! How did that happen? Weren't we even looking? How did we miss it? We keep asking ourselves those questions but we have no answers. Depression is THAT sneaky.

We can't possibly be on the alert 24/7 to THAT extent. WE think we're being vigilant, but it sneaks up on us anyway. Thank God for therapists and medication. If I was not on medication, I would be so far in the pits, even a backhoe wouldn't be able to dig me up.

I'm hoping that the meds adjustment will help you. I pray that it does because you can't keep living like this. Will you do something for us? Will you let us know if the medications work?? I'd appreciate it if you would. Please take care and God bless! Hugs, Lee
__________________
The truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable..........................................Garfield
Thanks for this!
Fresia
Reply
Views: 537

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:29 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.