[Bridget11]

I'm a freshman in college now. I've basically had issues with depression, anxiety, and self harm since I was around 11. My parents found out about it back then, but I don't think they took it seriously, and I definitely kind of downplayed it. So, I never told anyone about my problems before.
Once I came to my school (which is my dream school, in my dream city) I learned about the resources here. They basically put a lot of emphasis on their mental health services because they've had a history of suicides. So, I decided to go. It's been about a month, and since then I've been assigned a therapist and psychiatrist, and put into group therapy. I've also been prescribed an antidepressant. At this point, it feels kind of major, and not telling my parents is making me feel extremely guilty (not great for anxiety or depression.) But, I'm afraid telling them will only upset them and they'll force me to come back home.
Any advice?

[Augusta_A]

Bridget,

Do you really mean that your parents have had no inkling since you were a pre-teen that you have experienced these difficulties?

If so, that is a complication because they will probably not want their image of their happy, successful daughter to be disturbed.

Maybe you could just tell them one of the things you are now doing, and combine that with a lot about how well you are doing in general?

Telling them all four things probably would be a substantial jolt. Telling them one thing would give them the idea that you do have some issues. At the same time, I would hope they will not be inclined to have their daughter come home when she is actually doing so well!

You know them better than I do, and so you have a better sense of how they will react. But this might be one way of starting down the road toward better communication.

[Rohag]

Hello, Bridget11! How are you doing with the meds and therapy? How are you coping with college life?

[Bridget11]

Augusta-
Honestly, I find it hard to believe that my parents had no idea about my issues, but they were definitely never brought up. It's possible that they noticed but didn't say anything because I didn't say anything. I have considered your suggestion; maybe I could just tell them about going to counseling for now. The only thing is, doing this without my parents consent just seems very foreign and wrong to me. The medication part, in particular is making me feel guilty and secretive.
Rohag-
Hello! I only started the medication about a week and a half ago, so I'm not seeing any major changes quite yet. As for therapy, I've had 3 sessions and I'm still kind of settling in. It's very strange for me to talk openly about these things to someone, as I've never done so in my entire life. But, I think it's beneficial overall.
College life is actually not bad. As I mentioned, it's my dream city so I love living here. And I actually haven't had any homesickness issues.

[Leed]

Hi Bridget ~ You said you told your parents about your issues when you were about 11 yrs old. They basically downplayed it and swept it under the rug. I have a feeling they just didn't want to deal with it back then, so they figured you would "outgrow" it and it was "just a phase" -- I imagine they think now that you've "gotten over it" and that you're ok.

If you tell them now, yes it will be a surprise in a way but maybe not. You can remind them that you told them when you were 11 yrs old -- and that this type of thing doesn't just "go away." I'm not saying that you should make them feel guilty, but they really should have had you assessed back then. I think you should tell the about all of it so they know exactly what's going on. You might let something slip in a conversation, and then they'd wonder what you're talking about. So it would be best to just tell them the truth. And why on earth would they make you come home? You're doing okay and the treatment you're getting sounds wonderful! It sounds just what you need! I wouldn't think they'd want to take THAT away from you! Besides you're in your dream school in your dream city -- dont let them ruin things for you!

Please keep us updated on how things go, will you? I wish you the very best. It sure sounds like you're doing well Bridget, and that you're handling things great! I'm proud of you as you have a lot on your plate! God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee