[Hellion]

I do not particularly like the thought of ending it and as I've probably mentioned in other threads I am doing my best to get treatment for the psychological/mental problems I face. But I just don't see how I can go on feeling like this I mean I don't feel I've ever really been exactly mentally healthy but If I could trade the past couple months for how I felt before that I would. But I guess I'll have to settle for professional help and potentially the psych ward(well whatever, what else am I going to do sit in my room and feel like crap) or go sit at other peoples houses and feel like crap.

I keep telling myself I just have to do my best to cope with it till my next appointment without totally losing it but even that seems like it will be years away when really its more like a week. Anyways just had to vent about this somewhere as I am tired but of course with this on my mind sleep is still difficult.

[cluelesscher]

remember one thing right now - everything is temporary. hold on. we're all in this together! (hug)

[Leed]

Bless your heart -- Gosh I remember those days when I hurt SOOOO bad mentally. I felt I just couldn't go on. But I did -- just one day (actually one minute) at a time. I'd try and occupy myself with ANYTHING I could think of. I don't know HOW many times I mopped the stupid floor. I must have washed windows daily. My house was so clean, it made me sick.

But it got me by until my next appointment. And I DID feel better after that.

I know how you're feeling, I really do. I can ALMOST feel it right now. (although I don't want to ). I know you're miserable -- you can message me and vent all you want. I'm here to listen if you care to. Any time, ok? God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Hellion]

It doesn't feel so temporary, and I guess all I really can do is wait it out till that appointment just hope I can I guess.

[Augusta_A]

Hello, *Lion,

I'm really sorry that you are in so much pain. I will tell you that I have felt that way myself far too often. I felt that way just a few days ago, in fact, and was having quite serious suicidal thoughts and feelings. Today I feel so much better, and I'm so glad that I held on.

Is there anything that you do, or could do, that you enjoy or that at least numbs the pain for a while? (of course, I mean constructive or neutral things, not drinking or that type of thing) Anything at all? Please do tell, if there is!

Secondly, what kinds of things make you feel so overwhelmed?

For me, what causes me the most pain and makes me want to give up are the hurtful words and actions of family members. They never seem to tire of causing me pain. Then, if something else bad comes along, on top of that, I do go into a type of pain that does feel unbearable.

That sort of thing had happened, and been piling up, for much of last week. Then today someone did something genuinely kind for me, and I had several friendly interactions with other people. The result is that I feel like a new person.

It does help if you can track some of your own reactions, get to know yourself better. Find out what causes you pain. Take close notice of what makes you feel better.

I truly do hope that you will feel better soon, and that you will find reliable ways of easing the pain if it comes again in the future.

[Hellion]

Listening to music is kind of enjoyable, but only sometimes most of the time I can't enjoy that either so yeah I still kinda feel about the same just more tired I guess so I am not as aware of how I feel. But yeah other then that drinking and such like or taking the prescription I had(that I sort of would like a refill for but with how slow they are I doubt I should expect it before that appointment) are usually the only things that reduce it any but of course that is temporary and when anything wears off I still feel just as bad.

It doesn't seem there is any end to it, but hopefully I can make that clear at the next appointment as I really have no idea what to do. I just feel like I can't push myself any further.

[lynn P.]

Sorry you're in so much pain ((Hellion)). See if this kind of thinking might help - when a person's in incredible mental pain....all they can think of, is how awful they feel and this makes them frustrated and impatient. They want relief right now and this fuels even more frustration. Acceptance is handy in this situation - it doesn't mean giving up on getting better or trying...it just means you're going to take what's happening for now and put aside the beating yourself up and yearning for a solution. It becomes a never ending circle of pain.....you want to be better but you're not.

Could you try for one day, to put all your pain in a mental box and shut it. Then go and enjoy your day. Whatever worries you can't solve, don't waste time on them. This tactic has been useful to me because I'm living in a situation and stuck ATM. I would imagine prisoners of war and prisoners in regular prisons who survive better also do this. Being grateful for small things you have also helps too - yes it can be worse for all of us. I hope this helps a little and you find some relief.

[Hellion]

That is good advice, but I've tried all that....and it doesn't really help any at least not lately, not to mention my version of trying to not worry about things for a bit is suppressing it to the extent it causes more internal stress than its worth.

[Augusta_A]

*Lion,

Do you mind if I ask what you do -- are you a student? parent? do you work in an office? are you unemployed and maybe looking for a job?

Please tell us more about yourself.

[Hellion]

Uhh I was in college and dropped out due to the depression, anxiety and PTSD mostly the ptsd I think, and I live at my moms house because I have no income to move out with. Hoping to get on SSI so I have some sort of income.

But yeah not really much interesting to say.

[Confusedinomicon]

Can you walk for 30 minutes a day? Physical exercise shouldn't be overlooked. Also standing in the sun for 10-15 minutes a day can help.

[~EnlightenMe~]

I know how you feel and wish I had an answer. Keep posting

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

Can you walk for 30 minutes a day? Physical exercise shouldn't be overlooked. Also standing in the sun for 10-15 minutes a day can help.

Yeah I usually get enough physical exercise, but if anything I already use up too much energy being on edge all the time so not sure more physical excercise would help.

[Augusta_A]

*Lion, the exercise isn't just to use up energy. It's much more to get your blood moving and to get some better biochemicals into your bloodstream.

There have been times in my life when I've set it as my goal to do just three things a day. The three things didn't even have to be very hard or complicated. It was good for me, though, to see that I had done at least three things.

Another thing I've done from time to time is give myself a point, or points, for everything I did no matter how elementary. I actually got this idea from a Lutheran pastor on another forum. She said that during her very worst times, she had used this system. She would start in the morning by giving herself a point for getting out of bed! Well, getting out of bed is hard when you're depressed, and so it definitely deserves a point.

For me, I'd give myself a point for washing my face; one for brushing my teeth; one for getting dressed.

It used to help me a lot to get dressed and leave the house, then go to a cafe or diner for coffee and the morning paper.

In general, making contact with anything that interests you can be helpful.

What you want is not so much to solve the problem on any given day but to get enough little "hits" from things that are good for you. Over time those can add up to a real change. It's good to keep looking for them. It's great, too, to keep track of what makes you feel better, no matter how temporarily.

What do you like to do when you feel halfway decent?

Or, if you can't think of anything, what did you like to do when you were a kid?