[CgRgSm]

I have been depressed all my life, and today I just had my first visit with a psychologist/counselor. He seems ok and easy to talk to/get along with, but I really just can't see myself improving any at all. I told him this and he said he didn't expect me to, because its his job to see something since he is the psychologist. I really don't think this counseling thing is going to work for me because the description reads "you are responsible for deciding what to talk about". That is one of my main issues, I am an indecisive, and very nervous person and I never know what to say. How the hell can I get help if I have to basically do everything? I don't get it. Does anyone see what I see?

I find nothing funny. Nothing. You will sometimes catch me smirking but I assure you it is simply out of me trying to be polite to someone talking to me. I couldn't tell the guy this. I don't think he realizes how messed up I am. But if he wants me to keep coming back every week then he will see. I can already foresee this not working. I don't know what to do.

But I will try. How sick is life that you have to pay someone to simply LISTEN to you? I hate it all. That is all.

[shinkikker]

You'll find that in counseling, they'll let you talk about what is currently on your mind, but if you don't have much to say, they will gladly ask questions or start the conversation themselves. I don't know of any counselor who would just sit until you say something, so don't worry about that.

I know exactly what you mean, about not being able to see things improving in the future. It is really difficult, especially in the midst of depression, to ever see the bright side. Just try to keep an open mind, and don't lose hope.

I'm in a similar situation right now, and actually, not sure if you remember but you commented on my post the other day about my own depression. I'm here for you if you ever want to talk, I can't promise that I can help, but I can promise that I'll listen.

[CgRgSm]

Well... There was a long moment where he just waited for me to say something. I seriously doubt this will work, but its all I can do. Yes, I remember. I have to find a pstchiatrist now. I fear that when I get on the meds, it will either do nothing or make me not myself or make me more suicidal than before.

[Leed]

I had a psychiatrist who would say NOTHING -- he made ME do all the talking, and if I didn't have anything to say, it was very quiet in there. I was nervous to begin with, and if I couldn't think of anything to talk about, we just sat there! So i'd talk about something really STUPID -- something that didn't make a hill of beans difference to me. Like the weather. Who CARES?? And who can do anything about it? Sheesh!
He just would NOT ask any questions. I hated him. So I fired him.

He was the WORST therapist I've ever had. My doctor sent me to him. I should have known something was up when this kook called me the night before my first session and wanted to know how I was going to pay for the first session. FLAGS FLAGS But I was too sick in the head to figure anything out. Oh well.

[Vossie42]

I'm right there with ya on the misery and hopelessness. I wish I could be of help but I'm stuck, too. You have my sympathy, though.

[feelinghopeless29]

I've been in the same boat.If you do not like your therapist, find another one. You need to be comfortable.

[sunnybe]

it takes time so hang in there. It's okay to ask questions about your therapist like their bacground and training. It's also good just to appreciate the process that it is scary to share our story with others. Depression is like an umbrella, it shields us from the rain but the rain is life. It's up to us to decide how and when to use that umbrella.