[sciencegirl]

I've struggled with feelings of low self-esteem and inadequacy my entire life, but lately my life seems even more out of control than ever before. I just graduated from college in the spring, and rather than feeling happy or proud I just feel like I should have done better. I want to get a job, but I don't want to go to interviews because I feel like no one would want to hire someone like me. For now I just sleep 14-15 hours a day, but some nights I'm so anxious I can't sleep at all. I have stopped talking to all my friends because I don't want to hear how great their new lives are or to have them realize how much of a loser I am. I tried to talk to my parents and sister about it, but they don't think depression is real. They just think I'm being lazy, but they don't realize how bad I feel - the more I don't get a job, the worse I feel, and the worse I feel the more I think no one will hire me. Now its affecting how I eat - some days I don't eat anything at all, other days I just don't stop. I've never talked to anyone about my feelings before and I'm a little nervous about it, but I feel like I have to do something to help myself. Any advice or support would really be appreciated, I'm tired of feeling like my life is over at 22 =(

[Leed]

Well first of all CONGRATULATIONS on graduating from College!! That's quite an accomplishment! Good for you! And secondly, I'm no stranger to depression. I've been depressed since I was a little child, and I'm now 63 yrs old. ACK!

My friend, you really need to see a therapist. You can't keep on like this. You're getting nowhere fast. I know -- people put a stigma on those who see therapists -- well, you'd be surprised at the number of people who go thru therapy now! Probably some of your friends have seen a therapist or counselor at one time or another.

Go see your doctor, and he can refer you to a good therapist. Or if YOU know of a good therapist, make an appointment and go see him. But the sooner the better my friend. You won't regret it.

I was in therapy for years, but I had a LOT of issues. So you wouldn't have to be in very long. And I KNOW it would help.

I wish you the very best. Please take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[tokiwartooth]

You sound so much like me. I took forever to figure out what I wanted to do, and I finally got my BS at 25. I still felt like I could've done more too. I went for my graduate degree, and that was a disaster. I sleep a long time too. At least 14+ hours on the weekend when I'm not at work. My aunt, who I live with, isn't great to talk to either. I've tried, and she tells me to buck up and get over it. Which makes me want to slap her. I've gone through periods of withdrawal from friends as well. I tried to talk to at least one good friend, namely my best friend, when I was feeling bad, even when she was more successful than I was at the time. I didn't want to hear how successful my other friends were either. Or my cousin. I was constantly having that rubbed in my face. Oh look, Kelly has her Master's Degree now. When are you going to get yours? You know what, f**k you, I'll get it when I'm ready. I got so gddmned tired of hearing that over and over again. Even after I got my degree, it took me awhile to find work in my field. Don't feel alone. I felt the same way, looking for work, feeling like a total loser when I couldn't find any. I felt humiliated when I'd go into places and ask if they were hiring. I had to settle for menial jobs before I found something in science. I worked in fast food and retail until I finally got a job in my field. You should talk to someone, it would help. I started therapy when I was really bad 13 years ago. I was suicidal, and it did help me. I have low self esteem too, and that's another reason to talk to someone. I always think to myself, who would want someone like me? But someone did, and they hired me and gave me a chance. As far as my love life goes though, I have none. I love someone I can't have. Don't feel like you're alone.

[sciencegirl]

Thanks for your responses, its great to know there are people out there that have been where I am and were able to get through it. It gives me a lot of hope. I have started looking for a therapist, but I haven't told my family yet. I think my first step needs to be just talking to someone and surrounding myself with absolute positivity before I start trying to get them to understand what I'm going through (since I know they will be very negative about it). Because my family is so unsupportive, it means that much more to me to have people out there like you who care and want to help, rather than just put me down. Thank you so much for your support and advice =) -sciencegirl

hope things get better for you sciencegirl.

keep us posted

[unfearless]

i remember when im graduated from college with low-grade, it was one of the worse moment in my life, why? because i have a lot of fear, fear of being jobless, fear of my dark future, those fears came inside my circle of depression in a sudden and im having a breakdown for a few months, until i finally got a job, its an entry level job and low-pay, but its a big step for me to move on. i have been a so-called antisocial person for all my life, dont have many friends, i enjoy being alone, when i finally work in a office with a lot of people in one room it requires me to build a relationship with them, i have to communicate with them otherwise i cant work, to be honest im not doing well in my first job, my boss and workmates still think that i spent too much time alone and not socialize, but again its a big step for me.

you'll get there soon or later. hang in there

[bkwazi]

i feel like sad all the time to. I hate my appearance alot and can't afford to fix my nose and chin so it always just brings me down and i have very little ambition in life and barely ever socialize and at 28 still haven't finished my degree because i'm just to depressed to even care.