[NishQuiche92]

I am concerned that my depression is only going to get worse...both my doctor and counselor recommend that I take time off from working, and go easy on the schooling...because my doctor stated that if I continue to try and force myself to keep going at the pace I am with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and seizures that I am likely to wind up in the hospital.
The trouble is my family....I love my grandparents, but they have a hard time understanding my situation...I am broke right now, applying for SSI...but they, as well as my mother, keep encouraging me to find work. I suppose I should find work for a little while, but it's super tricky in this economy. If I did work, I would have pretty strict guidelines...none of which an employer would be likely to hire me with...
My mom has been worst of all in this...she refuses to talk to me until I do what I am supposed to, yet she threatens to cut me off from things (like my phone and car insurance that are under her name, but I pay for)...I have been told that it would be beneficial to put space between me and my family right now so I can get better, since they seem to only be interested in putting more pressure on me...however, that is also tricky, because my grandfather is struggling with cancer right now...so I am trying to be supportive of him while struggling with losing my job, losing unemployment, losing school financial aid...it has been rough, but the roughest thing of all is that my own mother only thinks depression is an excuse to be lazy...
Even as a child, she always thought I was lying about being sick...a few times it wound me up in the hospital from being so sick, and her refusing to take me to a doctor.
I sometimes feel like she only sees the worst in me, and is unwilling to see the situation for what it is...which is that; I am depressed and am severely struggling with both school and finances....
I supposed more than anything I just needed to vent...like I said, I love my grandparents...and they have been trying very hard to keep me afloat despite the pressure they are putting on me. They send me with food when needed, are always there to help with anything I need....more so than my mom ever was. I am thankful I have them, because without them, I fear I would be on the streets by now....
Again, thanks for letting me vent! If you have suggestions I would love to hear them.

[OrangeMoira]

Sounds like you're in a really tough situation. Your treatment team wants you to do one thing to get better, and your mom wants you to do something else. Your doctors want you to focus on your own recovery, but you have to be there for your grandfather.

You have to make a decision about what to do next, but the family component makes things much more emotional. You kind of have to balance everything; and it seems like the doctors are saying that's one of your big stressors! I feel for you. It's a hard place to be in.

One thing I can suggest is maybe trying to focus less on potential obstacles like employers not hiring you under strict guidelines (I'm guessing you want to limit hours or limit certain types of duties).

If you're lucky enough to get an interview and it's going well, go ahead and try to get them to meet your guidelines! If they won't, but they want to hire you, then you can make a decision at that point: you can either take their offer and try to work there with the support of your treatment team or you can decline.

Like you said, the job market's tough. Maybe if you're at least interviewing you can keep your family off of your back. I can understand not wanting to interview before you're ready if you think that in a few months you would interview better with the same companies. But I also know what it's like to talk yourself out of opportunities because you assume nothing can work out; I just hope that's not the case for you right now! I think that would might a good issue to bring up with your counselor.

Sorry you're having such a hard time with your mom. You can't make people believe you or understand, but it's so painful when someone close to you won't take your side; it's worse when they think the worst of you even when you're trying hard to do the right thing. I can tell you really love your family; I'm glad you are able to spend time with your grandfather. Good luck with the SSI app!

[Sam2]

Denial can be a pretty strong emotion. Your mother may be too scared of the implications of you having depression to accept it. Sometimes parents also feel ashamed of problems that might "look bad" for the family.

Is it possible to get a group session with you, your counsellor and your mother, so that she can understand that you aren't just making this up?
The feeling that a person is "acting depressed" to get out of working is not unusual. I once had a G.P. ask me if I was sure that I wasn't just making up my depression so that I wouldn't have to work. That was a supposedly well educated professional sworn to help people.

Going to school and working at the same time can be difficult for anyone to juggle, let alone someone having problems with depression. If you can stay in school, you will have longer lasting benefits. A degree goes a long way towards your future. There is nothing wrong with jobs that you don't need a degree for, but they are usually temporary and pay less. If you are going to invest in one, school would probably be a better choice.

See if you can convince your mother to either go with you to a session, or see someone who helps relatives of people in crisis.

Sam2