Feeling like useless garbage.

I recently had myself admitted to the psych ward so I didn't attempt suicide. And I suppose I am not as suicidal anymore, but I don't really feel much better at all. Sure it creates more medical records that could help with SSI which I am trying to get...but its just more proof I can't function very well and I don't even know if I'll get approved. I'd like to think that was my first and last time at a psych ward but I doubt it.

I feel like I cause more problems than I am worth, and no one truly understands not even my closest friend...he understands more than some though. Seems like there's no place for me in this world.

I feel like no one understands me half the time, too. I suffer from depression and most of the time I feel drastically miserable but no one is ever available to talk to me and when I do talk about how to a feel to someone, they back off and treat me like a nobody. It's really hard...

You are not alone. I feel the same.

I wish I had some wise words to share, but I don't.

Hellion, I've read most of your posts the past few months.

Angel, I've read your other posts, too.

I just wanted you two to know that someone was reading, listening, and hoping things get better for you both.

You did the right thing, going to the psych ward when you felt you needed to. It's more than a lot of people have the strength to do, I had to be forced. Sometimes I want to go back, I miss the therapists and I miss the people there understanding me without having to outline everything. All I can say is that I hope you find a way to deal - I often find myself feeling worthless on the days my depression is so bad I don't get *anything* done, and I don't understand why I'm here. You're definitely in my thoughts.

Also, ArthurDent, your name kicks butt. It's funny, because the book I read when I was in the ward and feeling bored was Hitchhikers, so it caught my attention.

hi!
I wish you shouldn't feel that way. even though I haven't experience any of yours, I know the feeling of being useless. but I guess we should be strong enough to survive that feeling. And accept our own uniqueness. By that somehow, we will be okay. we should be surrounded by positive people to help us,.

Yeah its a difficult position to be in....it is hard especially when it seems even the people you can talk to about 'anything' seem to get burnt out on hearing about it or whatever so then I feel even worse about burdening anyone with it in the first place. At least I am not the only one...though I can't say I am glad others struggle with it since its a horrible feeling I don't really wish on anyone.

can i ask, how long you stayed?

It's a good thing you went to a psych ward. Suicide is never the answer. Even if it feels at times like no one understands, the people in your life would still miss you, including your friends here at PC. There are so many people who do get what you're going through. Your honesty and willingness to connect with others is a positive sign. You are never alone in the struggle. (((Helion)))

5 days...enough to let the suicidal urges die down. Once that was the case I was pretty convinced I would go completely insane if I stayed there any longer.

inpatient can be really hard if you don't have a lot of support. I know where I was, the doc only talked to everyone for about five minutes a day. I would have gone crazy without my husband visiting every day and bringing me books and little things like that.

I often feel that way too.

Yeah I suppose it was the better choice, but it certainly did not rid me of the depression or any other issues...and the meds they gave me could have caused some problems especially the wellbutrin which I got off after I got out because it was causing me to have weird side effects.

I kind of have mixed feelings about whether going there was really any help or not...As for wanting to connect with others I sometimes wish I didn't because even when I do want to it seems nearly impossible like there is a wall between me and them no matter what.