[Doingmybest]

my husband just told me that "this"(meaning me, my depression and insecurities) are becoming too much and that I need to "quit this ****". I feel horrible, I wasn't having a good day to begin with but that just devastated me. He is the only one that I have trusted enough to talk to about all my deepest emotions and to have him say that to me hurt so badly...I have so many thoughts running through my head right now, I want to SI really badly, I hate myself for thinking he cared I feel stupid for telling him how I feel...I love him and would support him through anything, I don't understand why it's so difficult for him to do the same for me.

[Doingmybest]

also my children saw me break down crying, I hate that they feel as they have to pick up the pieces...I love my kids but a 3 & 5 year old should never have to take care of their mother...

[shortandcute]

i'm sorry you're going thru this. it's hard when others act that way towards us. we are here for you.

[Doingmybest]

I know I can be difficult at times but if it was him I know I would be understanding...he seems to be bothered by me. We have been together 7 years I always thought he would be there for me if I ever got this low..

[Leed]

Men are jerks. What in the heck is the matter with him? Is he always this insensitive? Doesn't he ever support you? Does he think that your depression is "all in your head." (pardon the pun) Does he think you're just making it up? Is he that ignorant about depression?

Does he know that depression is RECOGNIZED as an ILLNESS by the American Medical Society and many other medical societies? Does he know that it can be very severe? Can't he read?

Maybe you should find a GOOD article or journal about Depression and print it out for him, and leave it on his desk. Ask him to READ IT. THEN ask him what he thinks!!!

What a jerk. If he had a broken leg, would he expect you to support him? YES. You are ill. So you should expect HIM to support YOU.

I'm so sorry this is the way it is for you my dear friend. My ex was like this too -- that's not why he's my ex, really. My ex was a jerk, yes -- he was controlling, mentally & verbally abusive, he abused my son, he was extremely jealous with NO reason. I could go on and on. I stayed for 26 years until my youngest left home -- and I divorced him.

You'll get ALL the support you need here my friend. Just keep talking. Keep telling us your feelings & hurts & fears. We'll be here. God bless, Lee

[Doingmybest]

Thanks So Much Lee,
Your response made me smile. He isn't always so insensitive but I do think he believes that I could just snap out of this If I wanted too...Most days he is caring and supportive so when he said this to me I felt as it came out of no where! I know that my depression is affecting all of us not just me but when we sit down to talk he stays silent. I know that my insecurities and dependency is overwhelming but I wish he could just open up instead of snapping...

[katya093]

Originally Posted by Doingmybest

my husband just told me that "this"(meaning me, my depression and insecurities) are becoming too much and that I need to "quit this ****". I feel horrible, I wasn't having a good day to begin with but that just devastated me. He is the only one that I have trusted enough to talk to about all my deepest emotions and to have him say that to me hurt so badly...I have so many thoughts running through my head right now, I want to SI really badly, I hate myself for thinking he cared I feel stupid for telling him how I feel...I love him and would support him through anything, I don't understand why it's so difficult for him to do the same for me.

hey ! i came across your story and i am so sorry for what happened.
i dont think you are overly depressed or how ever your husband see's you i don't think he is correct .
having emotions is perfectly normal. in fact his role as a husband is to support you through the ups and downs as you do to him .
for him to say quit that **** out is inappropriate .
i am not expert but don't feel like you have some problem because your husband said something like that .
don;t ignore your feelings get through them
you can do it !!!!
(:
good luck with your man .

[tigerlily84]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Too often our loved ones can say something without thinking and their words can just cut you to the quick. It sounds like he doesn't understand depression at all. I agree with Leed's suggestion, to leave an article about it for him to read. Or if you are seeing a T, perhaps he can go with you so he can hear it from a professional. My apologies, since I do not know your backstory. If you are not seeing a T, please go, it will do you a world of good. And if you are, please keep going.

[Doingmybest]

Thanks you TigerLilly. I was seeing a T through my jobs employee assistance program but that ended when I lost my job in October...I am currently looking for a T that accepts my husbands insurance here in town...I was in therapy years ago and was diagnosed with Clinicaly depression I know my symptoms and I have fallen into its grip again...I know I need professional help because I have been trying for months to do this on my own and it's just getting worse. I have days when I am so happy and wonder what the heck I was thinking being so depressed but then I crash and lately it hurts to even wake up...If it wasn't for my children I'm be in bed all day.

I hope you won't let your husband bring you down so much you want to hurt yourself. I've been there many times...he made me feel so low. Especially when you know you would be understanding to him if things were the other way around. Sometimes I just think men can never be sensitive and don't feel deeply about anything. Thinking of you and hope you are ok. Kelly

[geez]

I'm so sorry your husband isn't being supportive. It sounds like a couple of things are going on and I suspect that your husband does care about you and feels powerless to help you. He listens to what you are are going through and as most guys would want to do he wants to fix it for you and probably feels powerless and frustrated so he tells you to 'snap out of it'. It is really hard for them to hear how we are feeling. I tried hiding it from my husband and realized I had to put it all out there on the table - there was no hiding it and he has been very supportive thankfully. I also told him when I start therapy after my outpatient program he's more than welcome to sit in on a session to talk about depression etc...

Unfortunately even though our husbands want to be there for us they can't be our therapists or psychiatrists. My husband has anxiety and tries putting that on my shoulders but I've decided to not deal with his anxiety anymore. I can't fix it for him and I can't take his anxiety on as my own. Is that what your husband is feeling perhaps? I'm not saying his words to you are acceptable in any way just a few thoughts.

There are people as I've learned who have treatment resistant depression fyi... not saying that's what you have but it sounds like some different meds are in order for you? I would suggest a psychiatrist to get meds straitened out. A lot of PCP's don't know what they are doing when it comes to psychiatric medication and depression etc...

PS - I can certainly relate to being in bed all day if it weren't for my children. Big hugs to you!

Keep us posted.

[Doingmybest]

Thank you all for your support, it means so much to me! My husband is on his way home. I sent him some articles about depression and how to help your significant other to 're add while he was at work. I home he had a chance to read them..

[pinnodd]

Everyone has insecurities and if your husband does not want to support you. and gets depressed. Sounds to me hes maybe being selfish and not understanding and listening to what you need