[snafu61]

I have always felt there is something wrong with me. Even as a child I never felt good. I have suffered from eating disorders since I was in grade 8. I used to hunch over and put my hands inside the bottom of my shirt to hide my breasts since grade 6. I started drinking heavily always to blackout at age 12 and started shooting drugs at sixteen. I was sexually promiscuous and became a hooker at 17. Now at 51 I had a feeling last spring that I had overstayed my welcome in my own family. Mother of 3, married for 18 years. My daughter said **** you to me on my birthday, my son quit doing things I asked him to do ie fold some towels. My husband and I just sort of quit being partners - never fought or anything just grew away. So I moved out in May the day after mother's day as not one of my children had anything to do with me. I never went to my daughter's graduation in June as she has never apologized or mentioned saying **** you to me. My husband came to visit me 3 times when I lived in a hotel until the end of June. I got a job on the other side of the province in July and have had no contact with my family since then. I get an email once in awhile from my husband and I did get a thank you email from my oldest daughter when I sent a birthday card and money to her husband. My other daughter did not acknowledge a birthday card and money I gave her. I know I have an avoider personality so I don't think I can go back. I feel sad and cry quite a bit. I know there is no hope for me but thanks for listening.

[Leed]

Dearheart, of course there is hope for you!!! You have had a very tough life. And it's NOT your fault. Obviously your childhood was devoid of any kind of affection or attention. Your parents must not have shown you that you WERE good enough, and that they loved you unconditionally! Now you're suffering for it.

Sweetie, you don't have to be alone. I'm sure you could go back home, if that's what you want! I don't think your husband wanted you to leave. Otherwise he wouldn't contact you at all! Why not go home? You would certainly be welcomed, I'm sure!

Your children have contacted you too! They don't want to be estranged from you. Why not get back in touch with them and try to mend fences? So what if your daughter said ****you. Let it go! Our kids said stuff like that when they're mad. As parents we have to forgive them. How old was she when she said it? WAs she a teenager? If so, then forgive her. Teenagers don't realize how hurtful those things are. They just shoot their mouths off, and don't even think of what they're doing. Forgive her. It's NOT that important!!! FAMILY is important, sweetie -- believe me.

Try to mend the fences and get the family back together. Go home and live as a family. Your heart will mend and you won't be alone. Please? I care about you -- I really do, and I don't want you to be alone.

Please let me know how things turn out, will you? I REALLY want to know. I don't want to think of you alone -- I want to think of you back home, with your family. God bless, and PLEASE take care of YOU. Hugs, Lee

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Snafu61!
We're ready to listen some more.