[newtus]

im 22. its been near 4 years that ive no friends or contact with anyone but family and doctors. im not counting going to grocery store and saying hi or bye. which i rarely talk to cashiers anyway. i have no job no school really.

i feel lonely every once and awhile. i have severe social anxiety.

but sometimes i wonder how this might effect me in the long run. i have no people skills and they have seemed to get worse. i say 4 years because my main contact with people was through high school. and only then i had maybe 1 friend and then id talk to teachers. i was a severe loner (in order to explain how alone was).

its not so much that im really lonely but that its isolation is getting to me a bit and i cant connect or even really communicate with people. i mean its been degenerative if that makes sense? my skills its been going down because i talk to people less and less. you know? i live with my father but i still really only stay in my room.

im not sure if it would or can but how much worse can this get? isolation i mean.

[GreyThinker]

When you are in your room, do you communicate with people on the net? Do you play online games or chat on forums? I know lots of people see these things as bad for social life because sometimes people use them as a substitute for real life interaction, but they are great places to learn social skills and give you confidence in talking to other people. I know they helped me feel less isolated, and then when I did venture out, I felt happier dealing with other people because I did not feel such a 'loner'.

[Sam2]

Hey.

In answer to your question, yes, it can get worse. The longer you isolate yourself, the harder it is to come out into the world. I'm 49 now, and spend most of my time in one room. Some of that is because of a pain condition, but not all. I've been living with a good friend and her husband who kindly opened their home to me during a bad point in my life. Its been fifteen years and I still won't go downstairs if there is more than one person in the room. I know their adult kids, both are friendly and outgoing, but I'm still uncomfortable going down when they are here.

Being isolated didn't used to bother me. I prefered it. Now I regret not having spent more time out in the world. You can always close out the world if you want to be alone for a while, but if you do it all the time, its just not as easy to let the world in.

I hope you find a balance between the two. Choices that you make now will have far reaching effects. More than you would think. If you can possibly reintroduce yourself to the world, do it. You don't have to be buddy buddy with everyone. Start with little things. Even if it is just starting an unimportant exchange with a cashier. If nothing else, you can regain some people skills.

Sam2

[IcryWhoAmI]

Originally Posted by newtus

im 22. its been near 4 years that ive no friends or contact with anyone but family and doctors. im not counting going to grocery store and saying hi or bye. which i rarely talk to cashiers anyway. i have no job no school really.

i feel lonely every once and awhile. i have severe social anxiety.

but sometimes i wonder how this might effect me in the long run. i have no people skills and they have seemed to get worse. i say 4 years because my main contact with people was through high school. and only then i had maybe 1 friend and then id talk to teachers. i was a severe loner (in order to explain how alone was).

its not so much that im really lonely but that its isolation is getting to me a bit and i cant connect or even really communicate with people. i mean its been degenerative if that makes sense? my skills its been going down because i talk to people less and less. you know? i live with my father but i still really only stay in my room.

im not sure if it would or can but how much worse can this get? isolation i mean.

I'm totally the same. I have no friends, or job, or any type of school right now. I live with my family, but we're not close or anything. I stay in my room mostly all day. I feel both lonely and isolated. I don't get out much either. I guess it's my fault in a way, because I do tend to push people away, usually subconsciously. I don't realize until it's too late. Also I find it hard to meet new people. I haven't had a friend in over a year now. Some days I'm fine, because I'm not really a people person anyway, but other days I really need someone to talk to, but I don't have anyone. It probably could get worse, depending on what type of person you are, your personality, but a lack of communication can make it worse I guess.

[pandarama123456789]

Isolation can be, in the simplest way, very bad. For the past five years I had been cutting myself off from all social contact in my life. I stopped talking to friends, tried dropping out of school so I didnt have to see people, and bascially went into a severe depression. I tried convicning mysleff that people werrent the effort anyway, and thought of all the negative sides of being with people and chancing opening up to them. But, the past couple months have been... a revalation. I've started talking to people I see at school and its made a tremendous difference for me to just be in someone elses company. Things sort of happened in grade school that made me rethink how I see ppeople and my social skills started going down hill. For me, I just didnt trust people and was afraid of their judgment, but i ve been doing a lot of self reflectment and what not and have made realizations that I never would have imagined I could realize.
I just wanted to say that getting out, forgetting my fears and worries for a moment to talk to someone, share a smile with someone, was really... liberating. It was difficult, but I couldn't be happier with myself for letting other people into my life, even if it was only a breif encounter.