[Marcelo]

and at every waking moment.

I attached an image that says a lot about it. Needless to say which one I am.

I wasn't like that 10 years ago, but I see this happening again, and again, and again, and again, and again... that I just gave up...

[MudCrab]

Hello, Marcelo. I am sorry the depression is not more manageable. Do you know what happened in the last ten years that precipitated your malaise? Do you think you would benefit from professional help?

[Marcelo]

I'm seeing professional help. Had another consultation today, by the way.

My main problem is that i overthink every-freaking-thing. I can't choose a pair of socks without contemplating all that will happen throughout the day and that that's the best pair based on how much will I walk, the type of shoe I'l use, if it's rainy or sun... well that may be a stretch but fact is I think 3 times before saying hello to people, and by that time "people" isn't there anymore to be greeted. I hate when plan E fails but at least I still have 3 more after that. I wonder how people will take every word I say.

That said, I overthink what happens around me. How tax money is being spent, and what people should do to improve everyone's life. I have some good solutions, but no ear to share them. I've tried to go into politics, but there's no room for truth there.

Before I plan a line of action, I think of everything that can go wrong. It's a gloom world I live in.

And all that happens all the time... over and over and over. Picture you have a top notch computer just to sum 2+2, and it's in a infinite loop.

And you still don't see any improvement in the world. And you go engineer, because you want to devise and create solutions. And you discover the world is not what has been sold to you. It takes money to turn those ideas into reality, and not a soul willing to spent that. You can have money only when you don't need money (you know, bank investment policies) and screw the common goal.

It's not ONE event. It's all of them. It's the sum of all the crap that has befallen all of us here that bugs me. Not done by nature, not done by chance, but perpetrated by each other. By those near to us. By those who could, if not help, just get the hell away. And by those who think a charismatic religious leader is a good mayor because, you know, some imaginary friend of some imaginary friend said to in some imaginary time and place, and to hell with your logic or those fantasies called "urban planning".

I'm grunting. I'm not that friendly. I guess this should be my introductory line.

but thanks for asking MudCrabMan

For me I usually wake up feeling very depressed, especially on the weekends. I don't feel as depressed when I get up on the mornings that I go to work, except if there's something coming up that I'm dreading.

When I get up on the weekends, I feel like I'm getting old and I don't have any good friends. It looks like having good friends and/or a mate for me is the thing of the past. I feel deep down in my heart that it will get better, but I don't know how.