[kayla4444]

Well, i've been pretty depressed. All of my friends are so skinny, and so pretty.. I'm fat and ugly Ijust can't stick to eating healthy :| and because I hate my body I stay in and don't hang out with my friends that much cause I get embarassed Idk what to do... I just want to be skinny, and I really like my friend hes perfect :] Omg, he is but he would NEVER like me.. I think about being fat and just how ugly I am all the time ive never had a boyfriend either... no guy has ever liked me I just feel so alone and I have no one to tell how I feel like i couldnt tell my friends It just would be too much :/ so please maybe you can help me out with some of it some advice? And i'm not trying to change myself for the guy to like me.. Trust me I don't want to do that I just want to be happy with my body and self I'd be so confident and then I can go out more and maybe get the guy too :] So please help :/

[sadstar]

Exercise! It will burns fat cells

[poetinflight]

Just try to be grateful for all that u have. U DON'T have cancer or any other terminal disease. Be proud of the person u r INSIDE---work on that person. People are often considered "beautiful" because of the love and kindness they give to others. Think about it.

[GreyThinker]

It is easy for me to say lose weight and you will be happy, since you already say that is what you want... but you don't want to change, only be happy with your body. Ok, that is a good goal...being happy with yourself. You have already had the good advice of exercising, helping others, and being grateful for what you have. Exercising - say, walking - will also make you feel better about yourself, you will breathe better, and it will make you more interested in healthy food. Maybe you could also think about being an interesting person - practise listening skills, read books about other places, watch documentaries, develop a hobby.

Now, this guy you like - trust me, he might seem nice but he is not perfect . No-one is! Either he likes you, or he does not, you can't manipulate that. If you are always trying to be the best you you can be, you will attract guys who like you for who you are. It may be this guy, or it may be not. It might be someone more exciting . But the trick is to not worry about who you can get, but who you can be.

[adam_k]

I struggled with these same issues. When I was younger I would atarve myslef to be skinny. It didnt help my self esteem. I still felt the same way about myself. I had to work on my inner critic. That little voice that tells you your ugle, useless and wont amount to anything. You have to tell that voice to go f*** off and then tell yourself I deserve to be happy.

I reccomend eating healthy. Fruits,veggies, natural food. Exercise helps me. I don't exercise to be skinny, i exercise for me. Exercise makes me feel better and like Im improving myself.
To meet people you have to take the risk and go out. There are a lot of men in this world and Im sure there is someone out there that can think you are totally awesome. The trick is to get the courage to meet people. Tell yourself that other people can like you. I hope this helps.

[ramster_hall]

As adam_k says, its not down to what weight or image you are - its that inner critic that needs to be taken out and shot at dawn.

Being skinny isnt much fun either, you get accused of not having to try to be thin (like its effortless) and made to feel like a pig for eating when you do. Despite the fact people dont know that you might have not eaten all day or been working very hard etc etc...

My weight doesnt make me feel any more attractive, I feel so super critical and cant compare to the stereotype male physique. I still feel like I'm in this teenage body - its awful.

[RJ78]

Hey Kayla,

People of all sizes suffer from depression, including people who are skinny. The key isn't to be someone you're not, but just be who you are. What types of things are you good at? What has brought you joy in the past?

It might be a good idea to tell your physician about how you've been feeling, maybe they could point you to a good therapist who could support you.

All the best,

RJ

[montanan4ever]

Hi Kayla,

I'm someone who was once very fat, like HUGE. I lost all the weight (through a surgery called a duodenal switch) and all the health problems got better and my life changed a lot. But my depression did not change one bit. Unless something changes big time, I will be on medication and in therapy for the rest of my life.

My body is never going to look like that of a lifelong skinny person, not even if I had all the money in the world for plastic surgery. But it's seen me this far and I love it for being steadfast and faithful to me through a lot of hard stuff.

Perhaps some day you will be able to see yourself that way, too. I know it's hard to be the fat girl among all the skinny "pretty girls." Guess what? They get older and saggier, too. (And almost all of them think there's something terribly wrong with their bodies.)