[inthehole]

Hi there. I want to share my problem with you and ask for help. I have been in a complicated situation for a long time. I can't forget someone I used to love... maybe I still love.. But I have to. Our relationsip was very successfull at the beginning ( three years ago ). We were happy together . But after a year the problems came. His parents and my parents are against this relationship. I have not told them but I know they would be because he is different kind of religion. I am sure that if they understand it will be a war and they will leave me deal alone in life ( with him ). We have been separated for one year and a half but I and he still have feelings for each other. I have had been with other boys it is just not the same. There is not such feeling as in HIS embrace. I can speak for everything with him. I cried my eyes for him when we broke up because of our parents.. we don't want to hurt them. I was in another relationship soon but it failed as the others... There is no one like him.. I think that I have been in depression since our break - up. My mind refuses to accept that it is impossible. I am miserable all the time, I have no energy, the social contacts exhaust me, I like spending time on my own in my apartment, I don't like going out.. If someone has overcome similar problem without medicine please comment...

I don't know how old you both are, but it sounds as if each of you is still very much part of your parental guides in your lifestyle. The day will come when you will realize that you have all the good things that your parents intended for you to absorb in your inner self and that each of you needs to break out on your own and establish your home and stability in an atmosphere of real love--if that's what you both genuinely believe you have together.

Religious views are important in life, in my view, and you may wish to talk to a minister from both your faith and your loved one's faith. That might be the biggest thing you need to resolve to determine if you're right for each other.

I wish you much happiness either way the ministers feel is best for your health and contentment.

[Leed]

It sounds like you both are very young. But it is of my opinion that if you both truly loved each other, a difference in each other's religion would NOT stop you from getting married if that's what you really wanted to do. Each person can still worship in his/her own way.

Religion should not break up a couple if they truly love each other. For example, if you're Catholic, why couldn't you still go to Mass every Sunday? And if he's Jewish, why couldn't he go to Temple every Saturday? What's the problem? I see none. The love should still be there regardless of the religion. And if there are children eventually, you can work that out. The Catholic church is very arrogant about children, saying that they MUST be brought up in THEIR church --- well, that should be up to the parents in my book.

Are you SURE it was just religion that broke you up? Are you sure there wasn't something else besides religion? I wonder. Anyway -- I would try to get back together. Since you do NOT live in the parental home, you're making your OWN decisions now, and this should be one of them. Don't let them decide who you wish to spend the rest of your life with! That's YOUR decision, isn't it? Why do they have to approve? They won't be living with you. Get back together and live the life you want to live. God bless and take care of each other! Hugs, Lee

[adam_k]

It sounds like your in an impossible decision. I'm not a very religious person so I can't give any guidance on what to do to satisfy your faith, but I have been in love before. I've loved two women in my life and honestly I still have feelings for both of them. The first was a girlfriend I dated when I was 18 who struggled with what sex she liked more. She eventually decided she liked girls more and broke up. There is nothing I can do to change the other person sexual preference. I just had to accept things won't work out and move on. The other women is my wife. I found someone else and developed a deeper and more rich love and relationship. In my opinion each time you fall in love it is its own experience and will fill different for each person.
Your family has put you in an impossible position, but at the end of the day you have to make a decision. It's not fair for you, but sometimes we get put into unfair situation. You can talk to your family and tell them how much this guy means to you. You can accept that this relationship with him won't work, or you can disregard your families wishes (and possibly faith) and pursue this relationship. You should weigh out this decision as it and try and come to terms with things. I hope you start to feel better and enjoy life again. There are a lot of people in this world and you could find something even better. I hope this helps.