[NoCake]

I've been feeling pretty low for the past few weeks now and I don't really feel excited about anything anymore. And now I have people telling me that I need to lighten up because it makes them feel bad! I mean what the hell do these people want from me? I'd turn it off but I can't reach the switch on my back and I would ask someone to do it for me but then they'd tell me that I was being lazy!

Can I live?

[allimsaying]

One of the most difficult things when youre depressed is dealing with the non depressed. There were so many times I wanted to be with the group, laughing, joking, taking it easy but I just couldnt get my mind off all the things bugging me. In some ways I think I kept the cycle going by thinking about it all too much but, what was I supposed to do, ignore it?

I guess these days that is what I do just so I can get along in groups and at work but its also true that things that used to bother me dont as much anymore.

I think we have to find a way to be true to ourselves and when others dont like it just excuse them, excuse ourselves. I could become really angry with people when I spent too much time thinking about how they'd reacted to me, thinking it was them with the problem, not me, because if they were real about life theyd notice a few things out of whack too and darnit they ought to be bothered by it as much as I was.

People. So complicated. Guess its why I prefer being alone at times.

[adam_k]

It is hard enough being depressed, but it to have to put on a mask and be a happy go lucky average person seems like an impossible feet some days. There is a point where I'm kinda down and I can forget about stuff and have fun for a few hours, but beyond that I tend to be alone.